9 Big Family Lessons: How being from a big family has made me the mom I am today

When I can, I'm joining From Mrs. to Mama in her 52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose.  I'm enjoying the chance to be candid about my motherhood journey and I hope to hear from you in the comments section at the end of my posts.  Today's topic is how our childhood impacts who we are today.  As I thought about my childhood, the one thing that stands out for me is the big family I grew up in.

I come from a long line of big families and homemakers.  My great grandmother had 9 living children while my grandmother had 4 and buried one infant.  My mom had 7 children, with my twin sister and I being her second and third children.  Because she had four children after me, I saw parenting in action.  I saw how she managed the kids, how she worried or didn't worry over the minor issues.  She took stomach viruses and school projects in stride.  I saw how perfect never happened at our house, because love and fun abounded.

I can never say that motherhood comes easily for me, but I have found that being from a big family made the learning curve a lot easier.   

The five Aymond kids, keeping the Texas tradition of bluebonnet pictures.  That's me with the blue floppy bow and crimped bangs.  It was the 80s, y'all!

Big Family Lessons

1.  It's natural for me to want to pitch in and help when I'm somewhere, because many hands make light work, or so my mother always said.

2.  Grocery shopping and meal planning were things I learned to do at an early age, simply by doing it with my mom.  While she cleaned the kitchen or took care of other tasks, she would verbally meal plan and I would write it down.  Then she would call out her grocery list to us.  She joked that she did it this way because she didn't want me correcting her spelling later, but now as an adult, I see that including us in everything she did was how she trained us to function as adults.  At 16, my sister and I could do the grocery shopping for her while she cared for our newborn brother at home.

3.  I'm not intimidated by cooking because even though my mom didn't make us take turns cooking whole meals for our family, we were always helping out in some area in the kitchen.  That's how it works when you're in a big family!  I have memories of standing on a chair, stirring (and burning) a roux for Gumbo. Mom was gracious.  She dumped it out and still let me help with the next roux.  I couldn't have been older than 6 when that happened. 

4.  Breastfeeding always seemed the logical and best choice to me, because I watched my mom nurse all of my 4 younger brothers.  

5.  I learned that God can provide.  My mom tells of living on a tiny teacher's salary back in the 80s in a small town in South Louisiana.  The parents of my dad's football & baseball players would drop sacks of rice and cartons of eggs on our front porch.  That's when she started planning breakfast for dinner a lot and she became a master omelet flipper!  And God provided money for college, thanks to the academic and athletic scholarships most of us earned.  So far, my parents have graduated 4 of their 7 children from college, and two are still in high school now while one of my brothers is working on his degree.

My mom & step-dad with most of my brothers & sisters on the day I graduated from college.

6.  I grew up watching my mom speak graciously in response to comments about our family size.  As a young child, my mom and dad had 5 kids, and then my parents divorced and my mom had two children with my step-dad, so we went from 5 kids to 7, (plus steps and halves, but that makes everything so complex to add up, so 7 is easier to say in a blog).  I was always a part of a big family and we got strange looks and comments everywhere we went.  There were the "Are you Catholic?" questions, since it was clear my parents weren't using birth control.  We're not Catholic, by the way, not that it matters to anyone.  I remember asking my mom "Why does everyone think we're Catholic?"  Try explaining that one to a 5 year old!  Then there were the "Gee, I bet you're ready for school to start up again!" comments.  My mom always said that she would be sad when school started because she loved being around her children.  She loved the summers.

 As a child, it was always so affirming to hear that my mom wanted to be around her children and didn't view us as a hassle.  

She also referred to us as "surprise" babies, but not accidents.  I guess my parents love surprises!

As I've received negative comments with my little family of 3 children, I've asked my mom how she responded to them.  She said she never really learned snazzy comebacks.  She generally just kept her mouth shut and smiled.  

7.  DIY attitude:  When you're from a big family, money is usually a little tighter.  I watched my step-dad add on a room, build a porch, and put a new roof on the house.  Meanwhile, my mom would make our costumes, do prom-worthy hair, cater events, and make elaborate cakes herself.  I've even watched my mom change our brake shoes!  So as adults with a family of our own, my husband and I have painted our house ourselves, he replaces tiles, I sew things we need, and I make all of our cakes.  He does all of our car repairs and I cloth diaper our babies.  This helps stretch our budget and allows us to save too.  We believe it's essential to being good stewards of what God has given us, and we practiced these habits back when we were a two income family with no children.

8.  I've learned that you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time.  Birthdays and special holidays can still be fun without a lot of expense.  When you're one of 7 kids, your family is the party.  We often had fun birthday parties with friends, but a lot of times we just had our family there and it was still so much fun.  Even now, we usually choose to keep things simple at our house, but still special.  I also don't think you have to spend a lot of money to cherish your babies.  In fact, I believe babies can be pretty cheap.  It's the pregnancies that get expensive!

9.  I realized at some point that most diligent parents don't regret having more kids.  Aside from big issues like neglect and poverty, most parents only regret having small families, but never big.  Though certainly some families are content to stop at two (or have no option), I've talked to several older couples who deeply regret not having more than one or two children.  I don't know God's plan for me, but I hope it includes at least another baby.  But I've always wanted several siblings for my kids.  It's a gift I want to give them and a blessing from God that I want to enjoy, the blessing of children, should He choose to provide more than just the three I have.

My great-grandparents who raised 9 children, all girls, are seen here holding me and my twin sister.  That's me on the left.

My childhood wasn't perfect--there was a lot of junk there that God has dealt with and still deals with in me because of yucky things like divorce.  But I've always been grateful for certain aspects about the way we were raised, and I'm especially grateful for all of my brothers and sisters.

I hear so many of my tenderhearted mom friends worrying about their first born baby and how neglected he or she will be when that next sibling is born.  I understand that concern, but I never felt neglected or ignored growing up.  

Because of the family I grew up in, I know that there's always more love to go around.  And I know that there are valuable life lessons that are most easily learned by having siblings.

How does your childhood affect your motherhood?

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