Literary Monday: Shepherding a Child's Heart

If you've ever wanted wisdom on disciplining your child in a way that leads them to Christ, then this book is for you. 

It's been on my list of books to read for quite a while, but as Isabelle began going through the "terrible twos," I knew I wanted more direction in the area of discipline.  It's incredibly relevant for parenting children elementary age or younger, but if you get started on the right foot when they're young, then it lays a good foundation for parenting as they grow older.

First, I should say upfront that if you do not believe in spanking your children, then don't bother reading this book.  Tedd Tripp lays out a Biblical mandate for spankings.  But he also goes further and explains the proper way to spank.  Anger, for example, as no place in disciplining your children.  I'd rather avoid the big spanking v. not spanking debate, but I'll say here that I agree completely with Tripp.  A timeout may work with an older child, but I know it doesn't work with a one year old.  I think it's also important for children to learn that disobedience brings pain, which is definitely true in life. 

Tripp also explains the vital role of communication when it comes to correcting the child.  It's important to let the child know that we love them, which is why we're disciplining them.  It's also important to really understand the child and why they have disobeyed. 

"For out of the overflow of the heart

the mouth speaks."

-Matthew 12:34

Tedd Tripp places great value on the child's motives versus their behavior.  For example, when two kids are fighting over a toy, it is typical to ask who had the toy first and then give it back, but it is actually more important to address the issue of selfishness in the children. 

I love Tripp's opinion of the sticky situation of a lying child.  If a child lies to you and will not admit the truth, Tripp says to place greater value on the relationship than the offense.  Obviously, it is important to get the the bottom of the situation, but if the child refuses to admit it, Tripp says you must believe them.  If you call them a liar, you will cause irreparable damage to the relationship.  And often times, the truth will come out eventually, but even if it does not, it's not worth your relationship and trust with your child.

Tripp defines obedience as doing what you are told to do "Without challenge, without excuse, without delay."  This is especially important for parents of toddlers.  When I call my daughter to me, if I allow her to run around the house two times before coming, I'm teaching her that it's OK to take her time in obeying me.  Instead, I need to communicate the rule and provide immediate consequences every time she disobeys.   

I could share loads of information that I've gleaned from Shepherding a Child's Heart, but I'd rather not steal his thunder.  You'll enjoy reading it yourself.

I do think it's exhausting to discipline well, but by faith, I know it'll pay off.  An older friend loves to sympathize with me in my childrearing efforts, and  she reminds me of the truth found in Galatians 6:9:

 "Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest

if we do not give up."

Do you have any good reads to suggest in the area of discipline?