I wasn't even 5 weeks pregnant with baby #2 when I was asked "So, are you going to have Isabelle potty trained before the new baby arrives?" At first I was taken aback by the question, but now I have to admit, it's a good question and I'm still mulling over it a bit. Evidently, having two children in diapers is a universal fear with moms.
Initially, I thought no, I would not like to potty train her beforehand. Having two kids in diapers doesn't bother me a bit. I'm a breastfeeding and cloth diapering mom, so a new baby is hardly an expense (unless you count the cost of all of my prenatal visits. Ugh!).
More importantly, Isabelle is only 18 months old, so it might take quite a while for her to do it if I start pushing her too early. I really don't want to spend my entire pregnancy potty training Isabelle. It seems that most parents successfully potty train in a matter of weeks, if not quicker. I don't want to drag it out for 6 months. I also don't want her to regress once baby #2 arrives. Then all of our effort would be in vain.
Her advice sounded familiar. In Toddlerwise, Ezzo and Bucknam suggest doing these exact same things, starting around 18 months of age. They also suggest putting the child on the potty anytime you notice them making a dirty diaper. The authors say that it's pretty easy to train them to do #2, since the child is more aware of it. Then when the child seems ready, you can have a few days of intensive potty training, and they walk the reader through those steps. Other friends have suggested this tactic as well, since they've seen the difficulties in waiting until later to introduce the potty, namely that a child has a stronger self-will at 2 or 2 1/2 and will often decide he or she will simply not use the potty.
I'd love to take an informal poll in the comments section of the blog. Please tell me how old your child was when he or she was successfully potty trained and/or how long it took to potty train him or her. I'd also love to hear any advice or tips you've got. Even if I wait another year to potty train, I'll have your suggestions here as a reference.
Here's my plan at this point, subject to change with the wind, since I'm female, and that's just how it goes. I think I'm going to introduce the idea of using the potty, but take it slowly. If I see signs of readiness, then we'll go with it. If not, we'll wait until after the baby gets here. After all, have you seen my To-Do list??? I'll have to share it on here one day. Maybe it'll motivate me to get these thing done before this little one arrives. 40 weeks will fly by. Nine down, thirty-one to go!
My children are 2 years and 10 months apart, and I thought for sure I'd have Tommy potty trained before Katie arrived. Silly me!!! He had no problem wearing the nastiest wet & dirty diapers, would not sit longer than 10 seconds on the potty, nothing! One day when he was 3 years and 2 months old, I went thru my ritual of putting him on the potty. He did his thing of immediately jumping off, laughing at me, and running from the bathroom. I ran out of patience and said something that was not a good mommy response. I then went into the kitchen, and within a few minutes I heard a sound of liquid hitting plastic. He had used the potty! And as of that minute he was totally trained, #1 and #2, day and night. He did it when he was good and ready, and not until... Fast forward to Katie at about 20 months. She developed an aversion to wet or dirty diapers, and as soon as she'd wet she'd start crying. So I introduced the potty. She patiently sat and sat, tried her hardest to make it work, but couldn't until she was near her second birthday. By the way, their totally different approaches to becoming potty trained reflected their different approaches to other challenges. Tommy tended to wait until he was sure he could do something and then try. Katie tried and tried and tried, then eventually did it.
ReplyDeletehi gabbi-
ReplyDeletejessie almost trained herself between 18 months and two years old; catie was trained well by two and a half. lainey right around two--it's easy with little girls! i would start with the little potty,and put her on it every morning and every night before you dress her for bed--and read the books. take her after meals and let her sit for a book's length if she will. when "it" happens she will start putting the ideas together. do yourself a big favor and do it asap--that strong will WILL take over(and since she is a firstborn, it will arrive early--i bet she is quite precocious in most things already). brennan was interested in it early but i didn't train him then, and he was nearly four when he finally "got" the notion. NOT FUN.
are you feeling better? hope so!
GREAT tips, ladies! Keep 'em coming!
ReplyDeleteJoanne, Isabelle waits until she's sure on EVERYTHING. Thus she didn't walk until 15 1/2 months! You're right, personality will determine a lot.
April, you've got Isabelle pegged. When you combine being a firstborn with her mama's stubborn streak that she inherited, you can imagine that she's got a strong will. Incredibly sweet, but very, VERY determined. That's part of how we made nursing work. We both fought for it for two weeks until it finally worked well.
Doing the things you suggested would not add much stress or time to our day, and they certainly wouldn't hurt anything. Thanks!
I started with Emily at about a year and a half. We bought her a potty and let her decorate it with stickers any way she wanted. First while she was still wearing a diaper I would take her with me every time I went. I would take her diaper off and sit her on her potty and explain to her what I was doing while I was going potty. She soon got used to the potty and really started to get interested in the whole idea. After she started to understand what she was supposed to be doing I took her to the store and let her pick out her own big girl panties. We made a big deal of it to get her really excited to wear them. I then started having her go to the potty first thing when she woke up in the mornings and switching her diaper out for her panties. I usually let her pick out the ones she wanted to wear for the day too. I tried to limit her drinks some and take her to the potty about every 20 -30 minutes. Sometimes I would go with her sometimes not but I would always sit on my potty too so she could follow what mommy was doing. I would also try to explain to her that if she felt that she needed to go to say something like mommy I have to pee pee or potty or something. We had quite a few accidents at first. When she would have her accidents I would sit her on her potty afterwards and tell her that it was ok accidents happen but next time to try and tell me first. It seemed like it took forever to get her trained but one day she just finally did it all by herself. I think I started a little early but, it introduced her to the potty and gave her time to feel comfortable with it I think. Now she either goes to the potty by herself or tells me she needs to go. She is wearing pull ups at night for now because I don't think she is quite ready for overnight yet. She really impressed us this last week though. She went 6 days with a dry pull up by morning!!! Just watch what Isabelle does and how she reacts to the whole thing. She will let you know in her own way somehow when she is ready to do it by herself. Good Luck!!
ReplyDeleteSounds great, Lauren! Excellent advice, and I appreciate you sharing exactly how it worked for you guys. Hopefully it'll go just as well for Taylor when the time comes.
ReplyDeleteMy sweet Adelaide was potty trained before 2 then regressed. Then she was potty trained again about every 2 months after that and would regress again and again and again. Finally around a month before she turned 3, it finally stuck. It was a long year! I never thought it would be that hard especially since we saw success so early. It wasn't a issue of understanding what to do; it was an issue of desire, stubbornness, strong will, etc. I was pretty hard on myself and her at times but realized afterward it didn't need to be as big of a focus as it had been. Don't be too hard on yourself or her if she doesn't get it or want to do it right away.You'll hear lots of advice from many people about kids been easy or hard, but jsut like in everything all kids are different! Much luck to you. May your sweet girl have a desire to do it. P.S. Cloth diapering two isn't much more expensive but it is a ton more laundry :(. Adelaide and Abe overlapped in diapers for about 8 months.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement, Sunee. It'll be interesting to see how Isabelle responds to it. You're right, all kids are different.
ReplyDeleteAs for the laundry, I imagine that it'll be quite a lot!! It's easy to forget how many diapers a newborn goes through in a day. If I do have 2 in diapers, I'll need to get more to keep from washing every day. I'm going to go with prefolds and covers to stretch the budget.
I tried training Ella (at 2-1/2) before Christian was born, but I was very lax and did not push her since I was very pregnant (i.e. LARGE) and miserable :o) However, once Christian was born my husband was dead set on not having two babies in diapers. Luckily for us, Ella was fully potty trained by the time Christian was 2 months old. I thought Christian would be just as easy...I thought wrong! When I taught preschool, I had the privilege of watching several other moms potty train their kids and here is what I observed: the moms who pushed their children before they were ready had a harder time than the moms who waited for their children to show signs of potty training readiness. As a result of this observation, I opted to wait until Christian said he was ready. Once he decided to use the potty, he was out of diapers in a week (except for nap and nighttime, of course). Don't stress yourself out about it - Izzy will train when she's ready and I seriously doubt you'll end up with a 5 yr. old in diapers :o)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that, Leslie. I think talking to you and hearing all of that is one reason I definitely don't want to push Isabelle before she's ready.
ReplyDeleteHi Gabby...we are doing elimination communication with Avery...No, you're not crazy..Avery is 7 months! We started it about two weeks ago and she has had maybe three poopy diapers in those two weeks...the rest (once to three times a day, we catch it in the potty). We also catch quite a few tinkles in the potty but those are harder to catch because I can't figure our her cues....
ReplyDeleteI was quite skeptical at first and thought I would just see what would happen after reading about EC and held her over the potty....lo and behold, she tinkled...and it happened again, and again! We aren't potty training her though and that's a big whole different thing from teaching Isabelle but it might be something you can look into with your next one! It's a very non-pressure way of just being super in touch with your baby's behaviors and potty cues. I know when Avery is needing to potty by watching her body so I take her diaper off and hold her over the potty. If she doesn't go or gets upset because I've taken her away from her playing activity, we stop and put a new diaper on...no biggie!
I've been amazed at the results and a lot of families who practice this (many start from birth) say they have babies potty trained by 18-24 months...Just thought I'd share...can't wait to see you on Monday@
I've heard of EC, but I've never known anyone who practices it. I really thought it was pretty crazy when I first heard about it, but now I think there's a lot of wisdom in it. Thanks for sharing your experience. If we decide to do that with our next, then I would love to talk more about it with you.
ReplyDeleteHey Gaby,
ReplyDeleteElison was similar to Joanne's 1st child! I tried and tried for the longest. Took everyones advice and tried some more. But one day out of the blue Elison decided (on his own) that he was ready and he was totally potty trained (#1 and#2, night and day) in a couple days...with basically no further assistance from us! I know some of the things we did helped him along the way, so I'd introduce the idea (like you are planning). My biggest advice is to not push it or get stressed!!! Isabelle will be potty trained eventually, but only on her own time! :) Good luck! (BTW: Elison was about 2 years and 10 months old)