What I've always wanted

I sat on the floor one morning, madly stuffing tissue paper into a gift bag so that we could get ready and out the door in 20 minutes.  I was already feeling the time crunch and my mental to do list was flying through my brain when I felt my 14 month old son climbing on my back.

My sarcastic self said "Great, just what I've always wanted.  A baby climbing on me when I'm already running late." 

He poked his head around and into my face, cocking his head to the side and giving me his "Ain't I adorable?" look with those soft brown eyes. 

Yes...this is just what I've always wanted.

I remember announcing to my students that I would not be returning to teach at their school next year.  I was very early in my pregnancy with my daughter, but felt that telling them why was important. 

One 9th grade boy asked "For real?  You're going to leave your job and money just to be at home all day?" 

Before I had a chance to respond, a female classmate shot back with "Are you serious?  Stay here with us when she could be home with her own kids?  Makes perfect sense to me." 

I laughed and assured them that yes, I loved getting to teach them, but as this girl pointed out, I wanted to be home with my kids and enjoy every bit of motherhood.

Days as a homemaker can be rough sometimes.  I'm in a particularly rough season right now, when the kids are coming faster than I could've imagined, and pregnancy is no fun.   

But we're not just home to keep the kids from killing themselves.  We're shaping hearts, training behaviors, and hoping to lead our little ones into lives that honor the Lord.  You can't put a price tag on that.  I know that I'll probably see more fruit from my labor in 10 years than I will in the next 10 months, but I still need to keep plugging away, doing the things that God has called me to do, training my children, loving my children, and not ignoring problem behavior in my 3 year old, but addressing them as matters of the heart. 

In 3 months, I'll give birth to my third child.  We'll have 3 kids, ages 3 and under, and we'll finally have more kids than available bedrooms, filling up this 3 bedroom house and then some. 

I'm about to have what I've always wanted: a house full of kids.  I'm prepared for one of the most exhausting years of my life, full of joy, but empty of rest. 

And I can't wait.