Oh Baby! Book Reviews: Bringing Up Boys

I finished reading Dr. James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys last night, and it was quite a read.  My husband bought it for me as a Christmas present, although he made it pretty clear (much to my relief) that he intended on reading it too.  I'm so glad he's a father who is engaged with his family and children.  This is definitely a two person job! 

Before I begin my review, I should probably let you know that if you're not a conservative Christian, you won't like the book and you won't like my review of it either.  While you and I may both want smart, healthy, responsible children with good character, we'll differ in other goals of child-rearing.  Holiness, for example, is a big goal of my life as a Christian, and I want children who love the Word of God, have a heart for people, and are growing in holiness.  You'll see this reflected in Dobson's book and in my review of it.

Book Review
Dr. Dobson wrote that our goal as parents is to "transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity."

How many men do you really know who are like this?  I think there's a shortage of godly men who fit this description, particularly in my generation of 20 and 30 somethings.  If you're like me and you happen to be married to a man who fits this description, praise God.  Thank Him daily for such a blessing.  It's a rare thing indeed.

I think his book is incredibly relevant to parenting in today's difficult society, where we laugh at men for being overgrown kids and encourage them to enjoy their toys in their "man cave."  While some toys are acceptable in moderation, the truth is that men today are encouraged to be immature, instead of godly leaders of the home.  Our culture acts as if pornography is a normal part of life, yet it's tearing marriages apart as men fall into bondage with it.  Dobson addresses these issues, as well as other tough ones like homosexuality.  At times, I felt saddened as I read the book, because he doesn't mince words.  He is real and honest about the world in which we live, and the struggles in raising any child, but especially raising boys.

Dobson also addresses the damage done to men as a result of the feminist movement.  We see more and more men characterized as fools, and there's a real question as to how a man should behave.  Should he stand up and risk being labeled a chauvanist, or be passive towards women?  I think we see plenty of feminized men in our society.
One of my favorite chapters was about educating our boys.  Dobson has a number of concerns with the way schools are structured, especially in the early elementary years, when young boys simply aren't ready to spend much of the day confined to desks.  I remember teaching elementary school at a small private school a number of years ago.  The school actually had multiple recesses, and one day, I saw the teacher next door to me take her students out for yet another recess.  I asked her about it, and she said the kids were getting antsy.  A quick break from their work would enable them to be even more productive.  I loved this idea.  I love the flexibility of being able to customize recesses and other activities to your students' needs.  Unfortunately, that's just not a reality in most public school classrooms, where teachers are driven by test results.  I know, because having taught 9th grade at a local public high school, I've been there.  And it's obvious to me as a teacher that boys, who mature later than girls, are at a particular disadvantage.  Dr. Dobson surprised me when he said that if he and Shirley had to do it all over again, they would actually homeschool their children.

Dobson stresses the need for good fathers in Bringing Up Boys.  It's not that moms aren't needed, but the reality is that mom usually is around, whereas many boys are growing up with no example of what a man should be.  And Dobson does address the role a good mother plays in her son's life, and also reminds us that, as parents, we can't be disengaged.  We only have our kids within our homes for a relatively short period of time.  We must make the most of those years if we want good results.

I'm reminded of Ephesians 5:15-16, which says "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."