Sure: Practicing Submission

After seeing some of our old soccer friends a couple months ago, I started thinking about how in the world we started playing soccer to begin with.  If you know me, you know it's quite a stretch for me to be playing soccer--I'd much rather be curled up with a book or a crossword puzzle.  In fact, when I taught high school English, my students would usually have to stifle their laughter when I told them I played soccer.  Usually, one brave soul would ask "You play soccer?!?"

Yep, pre-motherhood, I played soccer with my husband on an adult league, and it's all Elizabeth George's fault.  I was reading through A Woman After God's Own Heart several years ago and came across a great chapter on marriage and submitting to our husbands. One very practical technique that she gave was to try to say "sure" more often.  I think she said something like "always have a ready 'sure' on your lips" when your husband has a request or idea. 

I'm a very task-oriented person, so usually when my husband has an idea (like "hey, let's sit out on the deck and build a fire tonight"), it doesn't fit into my "schedule" for the day, and it's easy for me to say no.  Then we usually miss out on a great opportunity for talking or connecting.  So this idea of saying "sure" more often was something I definitely needed to implement.  In fact, I felt so convicted about all of my "no" responses over the years, that I decided that no matter what, for the next few days, I was going to say sure to everything. 

I think it was the next day when my husband came home with a grand idea:  Texarkana Soccer Association was starting up a new adult leage, and we should sign up!

My response:  "sssss....sssss.....ssssure."  What else could I say???  I hadn't played soccer since I was 6, when I was more interested in picking dandelions than kicking the ball, but I had no option.  This is what I'd agreed to do when I decided to reprogram my responses to my husband.  

The worst part of playing, for me, was the idea of being terrible at soccer.  My inner perfectionist hated the idea.  I could see everyone running circles around me, wishing I weren't on their team, making them lose.   

I'd love to tell you that I got out there, learned to play well, and was the star of the team, but that's not true.  I stank.  Completely and utterly, I stank.  My husband and Kelly, the team manager, spent lots of time practicing with me, teaching me how to properly kick the ball, how to defend, and how to shoot a goal.  I would get so frustrated sometimes after practice, and there were so many times I wanted to quit.  But as much as I didn't want to be a loser, I didn't want to be a quitter either.     

Fortunately we ended up being put on the best team in the league, so I didn't make them lose.  In fact, when we'd get several goals ahead of another team, my teammates would have fun passing the ball to me so that I could get a goal. 

I actually scored from time to time, but that was only because we did not have offsides, so I could just hang out near the goalie and take him off guard when a teammate passed me the ball.  But I have zero coordination in my feet, so dribbling was not going to happen.  And there were so many times where someone would pass me the ball, and I'd completely miss it when I tried to kick it.

Did I feel like a fool sometimes?  Absolutely.  But it was a great opportunity for my husband to teach me a skill, for us to bond as a couple, for us to exercise together, and for us to make friends with people who we would probably never have met.  We ended up having team barbecues at our house and having lots of fun with our teammates.    And I would've missed all of it if I hadn't said sure.  Thanks Elizabeth George.

Damian and I with Kelly, our team manager, watching an FC Dallas game two months ago. 

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." 

Ephesians 5:21

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." 

Ephesians 5:22

 

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her." 

Ephesians 5:25

Do you sometimes struggle with submission too?  Is godly submission something that you're just starting to explore?  I'd welcome any questions or comments!