I arrived at the bookstore excited about growing friendships, but I left completely deflated. At home, I put my 8 month old daughter down for her nap and cried.
I wasn't on the inside with this group. I was standing on the outside, looking in. My baby wasn't oohed and ahhed over; they didn't know her. Or me, for that matter.
As a new mom, I was so blessed to have a number of mentors in my life, godly women who I could call for advice anytime. They continue to impact me today. I also had women younger than me who I could pour into and encourage in their walk with God. But I was missing friendships with women my age, in my same stage of life. Before we had children, my husband and I were friends with other young couples at church, friends who kept us accountable in our marriage and in ministry. Then one couple moved to Fort Worth. Eventually, the rest of our friendship group moved to Michigan, Arizona, and California. And that's where we were when our first child was born, without close friends in our same stage of life.
Because I had so many great relationships with older and younger moms, I had no idea how much I needed friends my age until that day at the bookstore, watching the other moms laugh at inside jokes and share stories that I knew nothing about.
After the bookstore fiasco, and the tears, I prayed for God to bring close friends to me. And I invited one of the other girls over for dinner that week. She wasn't in the "in crowd" either that day at the bookstore, and we'd known her and her husband for a while, but hadn't been intentional about our friendship since our baby arrived.
Over the next few months, our friendship with that couple, Melissa and Scott, grew, and God provided another couple, Jo and Brian, for us to become friends with. The men would get together for breakfast one day a week, and Melissa and I would troubleshoot cloth diapering issues. Jo helped me finish a small quilt. Sometimes we would get together as a big group and have dinner, letting our kids play together.
And then there was the night that everything changed. Sitting in an ER room with my newborn, I texted several friends who were night owls too. At the ER. There's something wrong with Andrew's lungs. He may have a birth defect. Waiting for tests. Please pray.
Melissa did more than pray. She went to my house and sat with my 2 year old so that my husband could join me at the ER. Honestly, I'm sick to my stomach right now just thinking about those moments.
The next morning, when Andrew was flown out of town for surgery to remove half of a lung, Melissa had to pack for a trip, so she kept Isabelle for a while and then brought her to Jo's house, where she crashed Brian and Jo's anniversary plans. Isabelle stayed there until my parents were able to drive through and pick her up the next day, on their way to visit us in an ICU room in Dallas, Texas.
These ladies were my prayer warriors, my encouragers, and they also met practical needs for me.
And now their husbands are in seminary in Chicago and Kentucky, and once again, my dear friends are out of town.
But you know what? God provides. Again, He has blessed me with a few more precious friends. These are friends who pray for me, serve in ministry with me, and will meet practical needs in my life. And I will do the same for them. Whether it's an encouraging card or a text saying "Can I take Izzy to the park today so you can get some rest?" these ladies are the kinds of friends that God wants me to have. They make me want to be a better mom, they get it when I say I'm tired, and they love my children.
And still, the old friends are a phone call away, where we can cry together over our latest heartbreak in motherhood.
God is good. He wants us to have people in our lives like these, friends to keep us growing in our walk with Him. And if you're reading this now, thinking "I need that," then pray.
Perhaps God has you in a deserted island season for a time, but that season won't last forever. It can be a real season of growth, if we allow it to be. In the meantime, as moms, we can practice being good friends to other moms around us, putting ourselves in situations where we can meet other women, women who, like us, are seeking the Lord and striving to be better moms and wives. Some of those friends may become your lifelines one day, your prayer warriors, the ones who can keep you afloat when you're drowning in the messes and joys of motherhood.
No comments:
Post a Comment