Missing Papa

My kids called him Papa.

He taught me how to drive, play basketball, and pitch a softball. He edited my papers, speeches, and helped me with Calculus homework. Jerry wasn't my dad, but he was always a father to me. 

At my college graduation from Louisiana Tech.

I remember long road trips listening to Country Gold Saturday Night, the equivalent of torture to a teen-age girl. And when I decided to go to LSU, his alma mater, he took me shopping in the LSU bookstore to celebrate. Unconditional love seemed to come easy to him. And boy did he love my mom.

But now he's gone.

Three weeks ago, my step-dad walked into a local hospital, complaining of a heart attack.  He didn't walk out.

It has been hard to lose him suddenly, when he was only in his 50s.  My youngest brothers are still in high school, so it's especially hard on them and on my mom.  Do keep our family in your prayers. 

Hiking in Arkansas.

But of all the things I think about when I think of Jerry, one thing always stands out to me. 

Do you know many people who will take a crying baby away from a mom to calm it down?  Do you know many men who will do this?  Jerry would. 

My first child was born a few days before Christmas.  I spent the entire night of December 23 alternating between nursing and rocking my colicky baby girl.  Around 4 in the morning, my step-dad walked into the nursery and asked if I wanted him to take a turn.  My heart was warmed at this offer, but I knew I could never go to sleep, listening to her cry in the next room. 

On Christmas Eve, I was completely exhausted.  My mom and Jerry insisted that I go to bed at 8 pm.  All night, they took turns rocking our colicky baby girl so that I could get some sleep.  The next morning, Jerry told me that Isabelle loved music, and that her favorite songs were hymns and Christmas Carols.

Papa with Isabelle

Andrew, my second child, was an especially fussy baby throughout his entire infancy.  Any time Jerry was around Andrew, if Andrew was grouchy and crying, Jerry always offered to take him.  Jerry had a deep, soothing voice that was perfect for singing bass harmonies in the choir at his Southern Baptist church.  With my babies, he used this voice for soothing them.  He would sing to them or just talk to them and tell them about things he saw or thoughts he had, no matter how young his grandbabies were.

We spent Mother's Day weekend of 2011 with my family.  That Saturday, we had a family crawfish boil at my brother's house with his wife and daughter.  Andrew, at 3 1/2 months, had some grouchy moments, so as usual, Jerry said "Give Papa a turn."  He walked Andrew around the property, showing him my sister-in-law's huge vegetable garden and telling him all about the cows.  Andrew was happy and Jerry was happy.

Papa with Andrew

He was patient, gentle, and very humble.  I remember him telling me about his two conversions:  One to Christianity at 18, and later, when he became a Republican.  I loved talking politics with him, and none of us can watch Fox News now without thinking of Jerry.  When I was a poli.sci/pre-law major in college, we talked about practicing law together one day.  But I decided to become a teacher and a stay-at-home mom instead, which he supported completely.  He wanted me home with my children.

Easter 2010

Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone.  But he is.  Papa is with Jesus in heaven, as my 3 year old daughter keeps reminding us.  She didn't quite understand at first why everyone was so sad, since he's in heaven with Jesus.  But she's seen enough of us crying now that she understands that we miss him sometimes.  At her naptime yesterday, she said that she misses Papa too. 

I know baby, I know you do.  We all do.

Papa with Alexandre, a few weeks before he passed away.

But God is gracious, giving us strength, peace, and comfort.  Jerry had an especially close walk with God over the past few years, even more so than before, so this spurs us on in our own relationship with Christ.  And now that he's gone, we think about heaven more than we did before.

Love on your kids and tell your husband that you love him.  None of us is promised tomorrow here on this earth, but if we know Christ, we will meet again in glory.