My Darling Children: That Gap Between Ideal and Real Life

I decided that my children would be the Darling children from Peter Pan this year for our church's Fall Fest.  

 

Andrew, Isabelle, and Alexandre dressed up as John, Wendy, and Michael Darling.

I have three kids, a daughter and two sons, in that order, so it worked out perfectly for my kids to be the children from Peter Pan.  You know, these kids?

 

 

My daughter loves Peter Pan. 

 

Somehow, I managed to whip up a Wendy costume for Isabelle on Friday night, and she is thrilled with it.  I used this tutorial and a blue pillowcase to make it happen.  We had a costume for less than $5. 

 

I thought Andrew could either wear pajamas or a dress shirt as a night shirt, along with a hat and glasses, to be John Darling.  Andrew loves hats and he loves glasses, so this shouldn't be a problem, right? 

 

But Andrew doesn't want to wear the felt hat or the pipecleaner spectacles I made for him.  I spent all morning trying to coax him into his hat, and he basically wore it for these pictures, but took it off immediately afterwards. 

 

See my precious Darling children?  They love each other.  And I can edit my pictures to make you think they're always this sweet.

 

 

When I edit photos, you generally don't see shots like this one.

Or this one.

Meanwhile, this is Alexandre's reaction.

And those footy pajamas?  He has already had enough projectile spit-up to completely cover them and require a bath. 

Enjoy your time with your family tonight!  I'm sure that ours will be both eventful and fun.

SIDS Prevention: Back to Sleep

October is SIDS Awareness month, and if there's anything we mothers hear over and over again, it's "Back to sleep, tummy to play."

But one thing no one tells you is how to get your baby to sleep on his back. If you're lucky, you'll have a baby who eats and sleeps easily. You'll place him on his back for naps and bedtime and he'll doze dreamily. But that's not reality for most of us.

I remember when we brought our first child home from the hospital.  We tried to put her to sleep in her bed, but she only wanted to be held!  Both my son and my niece were the exact same way.  My third child, who is nearly 3 months old, is the exception.  He's Mr. Easy Peasy, and from Day 1, he's been happy sleeping anywhere.  He gets that from his daddy! 

But if your baby is like my other two babies, you might have a harder time getting your little one to sleep on his back.  We had to be very proactive if we wanted our first two little ones to sleep on their backs, and we were especially grateful that we put forth the effort when our second baby had emergency lung surgery as a newborn.  While in ICU, he had no option but to sleep on his back, and I think this would have been even more difficult had he been used to sleeping on his tummy.

Since the Back to Sleep campaign began in 1992, cases of SIDS have gone down by 50%.  My pediatrician says that he rarely sees SIDS cases now that more parents are putting babies to sleep on their backs.  He used to see at least 2 cases a year, but he says he has seen only 3 SIDS cases total in the 20 years of the Back to Sleep campaign.  Those are some pretty bold statistics!

Alexandre at 3 weeks

Here are our family's 3 steps for making your baby a back sleeper.

1) Swaddle:  My husband calls me a professional swaddler, but I learned from the best.  When our first child was born, he read up on how to swaddle and became an expert in it, teaching me how to swaddle as well. 

Not just any swaddle will do.  You'll want a nice tight swaddle, and consider swaddling up one or both hands for your younger baby.  They love to feel secure.  Also, a loose swaddle will leave extra fabric hanging around, which is a suffocation hazard.  To achieve a good swaddle, I love the Aden & Anais Swaddle blankets.  They're huge, lightweight, and perfect for swaddling. 

2) Side:  For my first two babies, we actually had to place them to sleep on their sides for a night or two, almost as a transition to back sleeping.  I'm sure the SIDS experts would consider this to be a big no no, so think twice about doing it, but it definitely helped us. 

3) SAFE Sleep positioner:  We used these for the first few weeks with each of my children and found them to be a huge help, but again, please know that these have been recalled.  Think about it:  Sleeping on a soft squishy thing between two soft squishy things goes contrary to everything we know about SIDS prevention. 

However, I think there's a safe way to do it.  First, get one that has no pillow underneath it.  Secondly, position the bumper pads near your child's arms rather than face to prevent a suffocation hazard.  I would use it for as little time as possible.

The latest popular sleep positioner is the Nap Nanny.  From what I hear, these things are amazing at getting newborns to sleep on their own because they make the baby feel as if he's being held. 

We actually use a U-shaped positioner for our babies now (see the picture above of Alexandre). The hospital gave it to us when we were discharged after our newborn's lung surgery, since they used it to position and swaddle him in ICU. I'm guessing that since they're safe in hospitals, they must be safe for the rest of us, right? 



So make that 1 tip.  We only have one truly SIDS-approved tip for helping our children become back sleepers.  But we're trying.  It's a priority for us that our babies sleep on their backs, and I think that by starting so early and avidly working at it, our babies become back sleepers fairly quickly. 

Here are some other things you can do to prevent SIDS: Use a pacifier (with no string attached), breastfeed, use a fan, don't smoke, and sleep near your baby, but not with your baby.

Another favorite tool of mine is the sleep sack.  These are especially wonderful in the winter.  I've got quite a collection of sleep sacks, mainly because I'm a big fat chicken.  I really don't want a blanket anywhere near my baby's face.  In the winter months, I swaddle my baby with a sleep sack on underneath.  With my latest baby, a summer baby, I've been able to swaddle only, without the sleep sack.  But in the next month, he'll become too active to swaddle, so we'll switch to sleep sacks without the swaddle blanket.

What do you do to prevent SIDS and make your babies sleep on their backs?  I know first time mommies would appreciate your tips!

Here's a great article on SIDS if you're wanting more information.  NPR: Rethinking SIDS.

Pinteresting Fridays

Everywhere you look, people are trying out recipes and crafts they first heard about on Pinterest. I don't know about you, but I feel this surge of accomplishment when I actually make something I've pinned. So I'm declaring that some Fridays will be Pinteresting Fridays. 

It'll be a chance to share something you've done from Pinterest.  If the recipe was a flop, we want to know.  If that funky hair trick works really well, tell us so that we can try it.  And if that recipe was especially delicious, do share! 

I'll go first!  This recipe is so easy and delicious that I've probably made it about ten times now.  My friend Catie pinned it first.  It is now one of my new favorite dessert recipes, but please, no one ruin it by telling me how many calories are in a serving.  I don't even want to know. 

The recipe is for the Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie Oreo Brownie Bars.  One layer of cookie dough, one layer of oreos, and one layer of brownies.  It is killer! 

If you click the website above, know that she made her cookies from scratch, but you can make it using the pouches of cookie dough and brownie mix where you just add eggs, water, or butter.  I use Betty Crocker--her chocolate isn't processed with peanuts.  My husband loves this dessert and says it has everything that's delicious in it, minus peanut butter.  I'm sure you could add a layer of peanut butter or even use peanut butter oreos, but alas, we are a peanut-free house, thanks to my son's peanut allergies.  But we'll settle for the ooey gooey chocolate perfection that it is. 

Trust me, you've got to try this recipe.

What's something you've tried from Pinterest lately?  Share the link and tell us all about it!

International Babywearing Week: Loving My Ergo!

This week is International Babywearing Week, so to celebrate, I'm going to tell you about my favorite babywearing device.

About a month ago, I told you all about my baby wearing collection, which consists of a sling, a Moby-style wrap, and an Ergo, which I had not used yet.

I finally used it for the first time a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, there is no going back. 

I love my Ergo. 

Alexandre, 7 weeks old and loving the Ergo.  He fell asleep about 2 minutes after I took this picture, while I was baking cookies and chasing my toddler.

Comfort

The number one reason to love an Ergo is that it will not kill your back.  I find that my sling seems comfortable when I've got it on, but as soon as I take it off, I realize the strain it was causing on my back. 

The Ergo distributes the weight and bulk of the baby evenly.  It has well-cushioned shoulder straps and a wide hip band.  After using the Ergo, I have not used my sling again.  In fact, I loaned it out to another mom last week, because there's just no going back. 

My Galaxy Grey Ergo, with newborn insert.

Safety

An Ergo is designed to prevent hip dysplasia and the seat is wide to protect against the condition.  You can also purchase an infant insert to use those first several months.  I didn't understand the goal of the insert until I used it for the first time, but basically, it has a lot of padding on the bottom to elevate your baby higher in the carrier, so that the baby isn't slumped down into the carrier, which would be a suffocation hazard. 

Quality

This baby carrier is sturdy and well-made, with every detail taken into consideration.  You can purchase teething pads for when your baby is old enough to want to chew on the straps.  It even has a zipper on the front to hold your valuables, and you can purchase a separate pouch as well. 

Ease of Use

I would say that the Ergo is not as convenient as a sling, which takes about two seconds to put on.  But it's definitely more convenient than any type of wrap.  I didn't try it out for a while because I was intimidated by all of the straps, and I thought it would be like all of the other soft structured carriers I've used before--confusing.  But it only took about five minutes to get the Ergo on and adjusted the first time I used it, and I found that I could adjust all of the straps easily with one hand, without help from anyone.  Now that I know how to use it, it takes very little time to put the baby in the infant insert and slide him into the carrier.  I can do it in about a minute or two in the Walmart parking lot, and then load up my big kids and get groceries.  Incidentally, did you know I can get all of my groceries purchased in less than an hour, with three kids shopping with me?  But that's another post.       

Price

At over $100, it is definitely not your cheapest babywearing device, but I do feel that it's completely worth it.  I chose the Ergo because I wanted something better than what I already had, something comfortable and convenient.  I read all the reviews online and found that the Ergo was consistently the highest rated baby carrier around.  And Target carries them on their website, so when I had an abundance of Target gift cards, I used some of them to put towards the Ergo.  And my Ergo is even kind of cute.  If money is no object, check out their Petunia Pickle Bottom collection.  Trust me, you'll be drooling.

I love my Ergo and would recommend it to anyone, especially if you've got several kids.  I don't wear my babies all the time, but when I do, this is the best way to go.  There's no other way to get through the grocery store with three little bitty kids. 

Do you have a favorite sling or baby carrier?

Dodging the Mastitis Bullet

I've experienced my fair share of breastfeeding issues, like latching problems, having thrush, and pumping 24/7 to maintain supply when my second baby was eating through an NG tube after his lung surgery.  But everything has been easier with my third baby and for the most part, nursing has been a breeze. 

Still, even with this baby, I have come very close to having mastitis twice. 

Mastitis is a breast infection and is extremely painful.  It leads to swelling, warmth, redness, and often fever.   The symptoms are flu-like: fever, chills, achiness, and exhaustion.  One friend tells me that she knew something was wrong when she could not pick up her newborn.  She was too weak.

Both times, I caught it in the early stages, before fever, when it was likely just a clogged duct or very early mastitis.  Had we not caught it early, it would've gotten bad quickly, and I would've needed antibiotics to cure the infection.

What Caused it?

The first time, my baby was a few weeks old and suddenly, he started sleeping longer and nursing less frequently--from every 1 1/2 hours to sometimes three hours.  The second time, more recently, my baby was 8 weeks old and ate less frequently because of a long car trip.  Both times, one common denominator was fatigue. 

How Did I Recognize it?

The first time, I realized that I was suddenly extremely exhausted, more so than usual, and that I had quite a bit of pain in only one breast.  I think I caught it even earlier the second time, so I was only experiencing significant pain, without fatigue, and still without fever and chills.  There was no redness, but I did feel a lump. 

I contacted a few friends who had dealt with mastitis to find out if this was it and get their advice.  Their suggestions worked and form the basis of my mastitis tips.  Thanks girls!

Treatment

If you are in extreme pain, see redness or streaking, or have a fever, please call your doctor and get antibiotics.  It can come on suddenly, and mastitis is nothing to play around with.  If it's milder or still at the clogged duct stage, you can try several things to hopefully prevent it from getting worse.  But please know that no website or blog can take the place of good medical advice, so call your doctor if you're concerned.

Rest and Hydration

Drink lots of fluids and get plenty of rest.  Stay in bed with the baby nearby, along with plenty of water.  Let the kids watch too many videos or ask your husband to take off work.  It's that important. 

Warmth

Think moist heat, like hot showers, a moist wash cloth with a heating pad over it, or even one of these nifty things:

I bought these hot and cold gel packs by Gerber when I was pregnant with my first child, but this is the first time I've needed them.  I've never had pain with engorgement, blocked ducts, or mastitis until this baby.  I loved these heating pads and found them to be extremely helpful. 

Don't use the gel packs cold prior to nursing.  In fact, you may not want to use cold gel packs at all if you've got mastitis or a clogged duct.  Cold restricts flow and heat helps the milk to flow, and with mastitis, you need your milk to flow, flow, flow, so warmth is is important.

Massage

While showering, nursing, or prior to nursing, massage the blocked duct to get milk flowing well through the affected area.  This will help loosen clogged ducts and get the milk flowing. 

Frequent Nursing

No matter how much it hurts, you've got to get the milk out.  A pump is great, but not nearly as effective as baby at removing milk.  Feed the baby often and focus on the affected breast first.  Don't completely neglect the other one or you'll have double trouble.  After nursing, you can pump to remove the remaining milk. 

You can also vary your nursing positions to help empty out the breasts completely, if your baby will allow it.  My little ones tend to be picky about how they're nursed, especially in the early weeks, when mastitis is more likely to occur.  But if you can, give different positions a try.  Make sure your clothing isn't too restrictive, and go bra-less if possible, or wear a loose fitting sleep bra if you need to wear nursing pads. 

Whatever you do, don't quit nursing because of mastitis.  Like all nursing issues, it can be worked through, and weaningcan make matters far worse.

Here's what Dr. Sears has to say on mastitis.

Have you had any experiences with mastitis?  Did you require antibiotics?  What did you do to heal the infection?  I'd love to hear your experiences. 

Missing Papa

My kids called him Papa.

He taught me how to drive, play basketball, and pitch a softball. He edited my papers, speeches, and helped me with Calculus homework. Jerry wasn't my dad, but he was always a father to me. 

At my college graduation from Louisiana Tech.

I remember long road trips listening to Country Gold Saturday Night, the equivalent of torture to a teen-age girl. And when I decided to go to LSU, his alma mater, he took me shopping in the LSU bookstore to celebrate. Unconditional love seemed to come easy to him. And boy did he love my mom.

But now he's gone.

Three weeks ago, my step-dad walked into a local hospital, complaining of a heart attack.  He didn't walk out.

It has been hard to lose him suddenly, when he was only in his 50s.  My youngest brothers are still in high school, so it's especially hard on them and on my mom.  Do keep our family in your prayers. 

Hiking in Arkansas.

But of all the things I think about when I think of Jerry, one thing always stands out to me. 

Do you know many people who will take a crying baby away from a mom to calm it down?  Do you know many men who will do this?  Jerry would. 

My first child was born a few days before Christmas.  I spent the entire night of December 23 alternating between nursing and rocking my colicky baby girl.  Around 4 in the morning, my step-dad walked into the nursery and asked if I wanted him to take a turn.  My heart was warmed at this offer, but I knew I could never go to sleep, listening to her cry in the next room. 

On Christmas Eve, I was completely exhausted.  My mom and Jerry insisted that I go to bed at 8 pm.  All night, they took turns rocking our colicky baby girl so that I could get some sleep.  The next morning, Jerry told me that Isabelle loved music, and that her favorite songs were hymns and Christmas Carols.

Papa with Isabelle

Andrew, my second child, was an especially fussy baby throughout his entire infancy.  Any time Jerry was around Andrew, if Andrew was grouchy and crying, Jerry always offered to take him.  Jerry had a deep, soothing voice that was perfect for singing bass harmonies in the choir at his Southern Baptist church.  With my babies, he used this voice for soothing them.  He would sing to them or just talk to them and tell them about things he saw or thoughts he had, no matter how young his grandbabies were.

We spent Mother's Day weekend of 2011 with my family.  That Saturday, we had a family crawfish boil at my brother's house with his wife and daughter.  Andrew, at 3 1/2 months, had some grouchy moments, so as usual, Jerry said "Give Papa a turn."  He walked Andrew around the property, showing him my sister-in-law's huge vegetable garden and telling him all about the cows.  Andrew was happy and Jerry was happy.

Papa with Andrew

He was patient, gentle, and very humble.  I remember him telling me about his two conversions:  One to Christianity at 18, and later, when he became a Republican.  I loved talking politics with him, and none of us can watch Fox News now without thinking of Jerry.  When I was a poli.sci/pre-law major in college, we talked about practicing law together one day.  But I decided to become a teacher and a stay-at-home mom instead, which he supported completely.  He wanted me home with my children.

Easter 2010

Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone.  But he is.  Papa is with Jesus in heaven, as my 3 year old daughter keeps reminding us.  She didn't quite understand at first why everyone was so sad, since he's in heaven with Jesus.  But she's seen enough of us crying now that she understands that we miss him sometimes.  At her naptime yesterday, she said that she misses Papa too. 

I know baby, I know you do.  We all do.

Papa with Alexandre, a few weeks before he passed away.

But God is gracious, giving us strength, peace, and comfort.  Jerry had an especially close walk with God over the past few years, even more so than before, so this spurs us on in our own relationship with Christ.  And now that he's gone, we think about heaven more than we did before.

Love on your kids and tell your husband that you love him.  None of us is promised tomorrow here on this earth, but if we know Christ, we will meet again in glory.