If I Had a Mommy Super Power

If I had a mommy super power, it would be the ability to diagnose my children immediately. 

I wouldn't have to go to the doctor's office, potentially exposing them to who knows what germs, exposing them to an exponential amount of germs.  The exponent goes up with every child I have, by the way.  Now that there are four of us walking into the waiting room, we all have the ability to pick up even more germs than before. 

Surely I'm not the only mom who breaks out the sanitizer multiple times during a visit to the doctor? 

Surely I'm not the only mom who keeps saying "Don't touch that!" "We don't crawl on the floor!" or  "Icky, icky, icky!  We don't do that!"

Surely I'm not the only mom who has a small panic attack every time another child comes close to my children, because everyone knows that other people's germs are worse than yours.


I digress.

If I had a mommy super power, it would be the ability to diagnose my children.  Specifically, I would be skilled in the use of the otoscope. 

An otoscope is that great gadget the doctor uses to look into your children's ears. 

I own one.  I cannot use it. 

I read the instruction pamphlet. I watched online videos.  I still can't diagnose an ear infection. 

My mom can.  My sister-in-law can.  I'm jealous of this talent of hers.  She spots an ear infection and can take her toddler right into the doctor.

Meanwhile, I miss ear infections.  Two weeks ago, I took my happy toddler in for his 18 month well-baby check-up, only to discover that he wasn't so well.  He had a double ear infection.  The doctor put him on antibiotics and asked to see him again in 2-3 weeks to check his ears. 

Yesterday afternoon, my toddler woke up in a horrible mood.  I rocked him for 30 minutes, trying to comfort him.  Eventually, Tylenol and ear drops saved the day.  And Daddy.  Daddy makes everything better. 

I asked him if his ears hurt.  He nodded his head yes.  The kid nods at everything.

Last night, he woke up during the night as well, clearly unhappy.  So I took him into the doctor today, assuming he had an ear infection.  But our doctor was out.  So I hauled all three of my children up to the on-call doctor, only to find out that my child has nothing wrong with him.  I'm happy he's healthy.  But I feel like a nut for bringing my kid in for nothing.

But hey, it could be his teeth.  He is getting four in at once.

That's small consolation for a wasted afternoon.  And germs.  Don't forget the germs.

What would your mommy super power be?  And do you own an otoscope?  Can you use it?  How about a stethoscope?  I own one of those too, and I'm pretty good at listening for wheezing with it.  But there's no hope for Gabby and the otoscope.

 

 

What Makes Baby #3 So Easy?

Our Family With a 4 Week Old

I could write another post like my last baby update, telling you how our family is doing now that the baby is 4 weeks old, but it would be more of the same from my last post: 

Baby is easy peasy, kids love him, he's nursing and gaining weight well, blah blah blah.  Good stuff like that. 

The only real difference is that I'm feeling much better at 4 weeks post c-section.  At the end of the day, sometimes my stomach hurts if I've overdone it, and I'm still avoiding wearing my jeans because it's uncomfortable on my incision.  But trust me, after 9 months of morning sickness, I can definitely fit into those pre-pregnancy jeans!

I'm still taking it easy.  Like any mom with a newborn, I'm pretty tired, so I make naps a big priority.  I haven't had to cook yet, thanks to our friends who have scheduled meals for us every other day for the entire month of August.  How amazing is that? 

But slowly, we're resuming our regular schedules.  We brought the baby out for his first Sunday at church, though we're still not quite ready to brave busier places, especially a germ fest like the grocery store.  This is what happens when your first two babies are born during cold and flu season:  even though the third is born in the summer, we're so used to having to shelter our babies from germs that we continue with our germophobic habits.  Oh well.

And there are certainly some things that aren't easier.  Both of my older kids are at difficult stages that require lots of attention and firmness, which is hard to manage when you have a newborn.  Cleaning the house is a challenge.  Getting out the door is a real challenge!  And sleeping when the baby sleeps is nice in theory, but it doesn't work when other kids are awake and in need of attention.  But the baby himself is worlds easier than the other two.

So What Makes Our Third Baby So Easy?

I love all three of my kids.  Truly, I do.  But it's nice to have an easy one for a change.  How is this one any different from the previous two?

He's a good eater.  My first child, Isabelle, had difficulty latching when nursing, and at the hospital, we got some pretty bad advice.  Combine that with my complete inexperience with breastfeeding, and you can imagine the struggles we had.  She was two weeks old before we were able to get her to eat well on her own.  Baby #3 was a great nurser from the beginning.

But not too good of an eater.  My second baby ate.  All. The. Time.  Every hour and a half to two hours.  And this continued for quite a while.  I was thrilled to have such a great eater, which was an answer to my prayers, but Andrew wore me out.  I was exhausted all the time for quite a while.  Alexandre will sometimes eat every hour or two, but he spaces his nighttime feedings out nicely, so that I'm only waking up once or twice a night.  Thank you, Alexandre.  Mommy appreciates the sleep.

He's not colicky.  Isabelle was pretty colicky for a few weeks, but around 3 weeks, she started sleepign through the night.  Still, about one night a week, I would have to stay up for hours at a time, just rocking her.  She seemed pretty gassy, and we would try infant massage, leg exercises, and gas drops to try to comfort her, but in the end, I would still have to stay up with her.

Andrew was colicky for much longer, thanks to his reflux.  He really didn't become a happier baby until he learned to sit up well on his own, around 5 months.  We were finally able to take him off the reflux medicine at 6 months.

At some point in my pregnancy, my husband and I decided that all of our babies would be colicky, and that was OK with us.  We bought something called a Happi Tummi, which makes a warm cumberbun type of thing that you can velcro around the baby's waist for comfort on colicky nights.  We used it one night, when he was fussy.  That's all.  We also pulled my glider out of the nursery and into our bedroom, expecting to spend many a sleepless night rocking the baby in it.  We've hardly used it for him.  He's a happy baby. 

Baby's personality.  When I told my doctor that our baby was easy going, he joked "So he takes after you, right?"  I laughed.  I've never been accused of being easy going.  My husband is more laid back, and I'm the type A personality that wants everything done ten minutes ago.  So yes, perhaps this baby's personality is simply easier.  And I do think that birth order helps.  It doesn't matter if Alexandre wants to be easy going or not.  He'll have to be easy going to be schlepped around all the time, since he's the third, not the first born.  I also love Traci Hogg's book, The Baby Whisperer, and her analysis of various baby personalities.  Alexandre is probably a textbook baby, and if I recognize and respond to his cues, then he'll probably continue to be a happy baby.


Having a healthy baby.  When our second child was born, his big sister had the flu, which was a pretty scary experience for us.  We sent her off to grandma's to get well and prayed that the baby wouldn't get sick.  Then at 5 weeks, he developed the cold that almost killed him, since no one knew he had a lung defect.  A flight with EMTs, emergency surgery, and a two week stay in the hospital, and we were "back to normal," but normal is never the same again after an experience like that one.  So with this baby, so far, we haven't had any scary adrenaline rushes or awful diagnoses.  Thank you, Lord.  We've learned to trust God with our children's health, as well as our own.  Our children are really His anyway; we're just stewards of them for a time, however long that may be.

We've got plenty of experience with babies. One dad at church mentioned this to my husband. He said perhaps the baby isn't easier, but it's the parents who know what to do that makes all the difference. At first, I dismissed this thought. But yesterday evening, Alexandre got fussy, and my first thought was that he had gas pains, and that I was in for a rough night. But then I realized that he was probably tired and over stimulated. I immediately swaddled him tightly, popped a paci in his mouth, and put him in his bed. He closed his eyes and was out within minutes. Maybe experience does make a difference. Experienced parents can recognize a baby's cues easier than we did with our first baby.

Have you noticed this as well?  Kids don't always get harder, if anything, they may get easier.  What are your thoughts?  What makes some kids easier than others?

 

Discussion Question: This week's question is for supporting, encouraging, and sharing wisdom with the first-time moms. So, all you "been-there-done-that" moms, what words of wisdom would you like to share with our first time moms (or any first time moms that might be reading)?

 

I would say rest, enjoy your baby, and get lots of help with meals.  Ignore the house.  It can wait.  Recognize that even if things are rough, this is just a season and it will end.  And when it does, you'll be sad to see it go.

Friday Fun

At bedtime last night, Isabelle announced that Thomas was reading.  I asked her to show me, and she led me to her toy kitchen. 

Here's a close-up:

Indeed, Thomas is reading a book.
In the microwave. 

Makes perfect sense, right?

Have a nice weekend!  I hope your kids are fun and obey you at least half the time!

Our family with a 2 week old

Alexandre at 2 weeks

First, to clear up any confusion, our son's name is pronounced just like Alexander, but with a French spelling.  He is a sweetheart and a joy, and his big sister and big brother completely adore him.

He turned 2 weeks yesterday and had his 2 week checkup today.  At 8 pounds, 2 ounces, he has easily surpassed his birthweight, which is more than the doctor expects from an exclusively breastfed baby.  He's built like his big sister, so he's a little more on the skinny side, but that's fine.  Skinny babies are healthy babies too, as we learned from having Isabelle.  It's just strange for me to have a skinny baby again after having chunky Andrew.  But God makes each child just how they need to be, and Andrew's larger size is an example to me of God's perfect design, since he ended up having lung surgery at almost 6 weeks of age. 

Speaking of lungs, Alexandre's lungs are perfectly healthy, according to today's x-rays.  God is good!     

Alexandre at 2 weeks: Newborns are both cute and funny looking at the same time! 

Mommy at 2 weeks

This is both easier and harder than I'd expected.  I expected the usual newborn fussiness for a few nights or so, and then I expected a colicky baby, perhaps, since our older two kids had some gas/reflux/colic issues.  Well this little guy isn't colicky at all.  He's very happy and rarely cries.  I also expected that we might have dueling babies waking us up at night, with Alexandre's cries waking up Andrew in the room next door.  But that also has not been an issue, again, because Alexandre rarely cries. 

What has been a bigger challenge than I'd anticipated is the c-section recovery.  On Monday, I stayed in bed quite a bit, but the little bit that I did do, primarily refereeing between the older two kids, was way too much.  By the end of the day, my stomach was hurting, far more than it was on Saturday or Sunday.  On Tuesday, I did even less.  A friend kept Isabelle, my 3 year old, all morning until naptime, so that made the day much easier.  I've continued to rest as much as possible, and I think I'm reaping the rewards of the rest as well as time, and I feel better with every day.

I'm trying to keep in mind that the pain and limited activity won't last forever.  I'll be back to normal really soon, and even moreso if I take it easy now.  But I talk myself into thinking that my house must be clean or that the kids are watching too much TV and need more attention from me, and then I'm either overwhelmed at all that is left undone or I'm hurting from exerting myself too much. 

I'll be really honest.  On Monday, I actually cried because my house was messy.  Seriously.  My husband just says "Lies, Gabby, they're all lies.  Stop believing them."  He's right.  I know he is.  But I really am ready to feel normal again.

Nursing at 2 weeks

It's easy peasy at this point.  Alexandre is eating and growing really well, and if I have any doubts, I just pull out the baby scale and see how much he has gained.  With this baby, I had no pain or any other nursing issues, but we did have what I would call "perceived nursing issues," meaning that the baby was doing fine, but I had some concerns that turned out to be nothing.  I just had to remind myself that he would do well once my milk came in, and he really did.  But while I was waiting, I was reminded once again of why so many women stop nursing:  Because it's hard!!  This is why I will not guilt trip or nag a woman who felt she had to stop nursing at some point.  It really is difficult at times, and I'd be a fool if I denied that.

My husband said that even after 3 kids, sometimes it's still hard to believe that the system of breastfeeding really will work out, if you just give it time.  I feel the exact same way.  There were several times when I had to remind myself that it's all going to be fine.  The baby will gain weight, milk will come in, and all will be fine if I just keep nursing.  And he had a growth spurt recently, and during growth spurts, when the baby is eating every 1 1/2 hours, it's really easy to think that my supply is low, but again, I just have to keep on trucking and know that it's just a growth spurt, and he'll space his feedings further apart again soon.  You can't nurse a baby too much.

Big Sister and Big Brother at 2 weeks

Isabelle and Andrew love their little brother.  Isabelle loves to hold Alexandre and just stare at him.  Even Andrew likes to take turns holding him and then kissing him.  He says "Bayyybeee" anytime he sees me walk in the room with Alexandre.

So far, we haven't seen any signs of jealousy.  Andrew had been a little on the grouchy side for the past two days, which I attributed to coming home from being at Nana's for a week, or toddlerhood, or a need for attention from Mommy.  He even woke up during the night recently, something he never does.  As it turns out, he has a pretty bad double ear infection! 

We never dealt with jealousy from Isabelle when Andrew was born, and I don't expect it to be an issue this time either.  I hear that it does happen sometimes, but I really don't recall ever being jealous when any of my brothers were born.  My mom says that we weren't jealous; we just had fun with the new baby. 

First bath:  I let Isabelle participate and help wash her little brother's belly.

Fun Moments:

As soon as Alexandre came home from the hospital, Isabelle declared that he needed to drink her milk!  We had to clear that one up pretty quickly.  Currently, she is settling for nursing her baby dolls and playing mommy to them.

She says she's burping them and then makes her dolls say "burp!"

Tea party on the ottoman:  Isabelle wanted to put them in high chairs, but had to settle for plopping one of them in a bucket instead.  I don't know why she insisted on having her tea party here, on my glider's ottoman, instead of at her tea party table, but that's the logic of a 3 year old.

At 18 months, Andrew is all about identifying body parts, specifically those on the face, as well as bellies, hands, and feet.  He loves to point out Alexandre's little features. 

Isabelle is still fascinated with kissing the baby's eyes!  She was the same way when Andrew was born.  We're constantly telling her to leave baby's eyes alone!

How many times will mommy get peed on during diaper changes?


Alexandre smiled for the first time last night, smiling several times in a row at Isabelle and I.  Maybe he was just relieved that bathtime was over? 


I woke up around 6 or 6:30 this morning, yet I almost feel like I got a good night of sleep.  Almost!

Ten Years of Marriage

We met when I was 18 and he was 21.  We started off as this...

Dating in our days at Louisiana Tech

...which turned into this.

Engagement

 

At 20 and 23, when everyone said we were too young, we did this.

Wedding Day

For a while, it was just this...

Prince Edward Island, Canada: On Lover's Lane at the Anne of Green Gables property.

...though we did fun things like this... 

Chaperoning a youth mission trip to Reynosa, Mexico.

...and now we have this.

 Alexandre's birth:  Our third child was born last week.

So what will ten years of marriage get you, if it's full of I love yous, I'm sorries, and I forgive yous? 

It'll get you what Gary Thomas calls "Sacred History" in his book Sacred Marriage.  It's a history of grace towards each other, deep love, and sweet memories, and we'd be fools to abandon it.  We've messed up, cheered for each other, and we've cried together.  He knows my failures, and he asks me about my struggles to keep me accountable for fighting battles over my sin.  We've grown up together, hopefully growing into a man and woman who love the Lord now more than ever before, and we've seen His faithfulness over and over again in our marriage.  We pray that our children will love Him too, and that they'll know that while mommy and daddy aren't perfect, we are faithful to each other and we trust God for our tomorrows.

I love this man that God has blessed me with, and if the next ten years are half as much fun as the last ten have been, then we're going to have a great time.

Happy Anniversary.

World Breastfeeding Week: Making it work after a cesarean birth

Every year, I celebrate World Breastfeeding Week by blogging about breastfeeding throughout the week of August 1-7. I enjoy sharing about my nursing struggles and successes, with the hope of encouraging other moms. It's a fun week on my blog, with lots of comments and often personal emails and Facebook messages, as friends, acquaintances, and strangers ask nursing questions or share their struggles too.

This year, I have celebrated WBW in the best way possible, by nursing my brand new baby boy, who was born on the first day of WBW 2012.

As I blog, my baby rests in my chest, kangaroo style, snoozing soundly as I alternate between mobile blogging and watching the Olympics, with my giant cup of water sitting beside me. Alexandre's belly is full of milk, so he's in that deep newborn sleep. But like almost any nursing situation, this could've been a far different story.

Like some of your babies, my children have all been cesarean births. I love the idea of natural labor and childbirth, and all the positive implications it has on breastfeeding, but that's just not how it worked out for my babies.

Surgical births present many challenges to breastfeeding. Specifically, both mom & baby are medicated, leaving little room for those wonderful, God-given instincts and hormones to function as they should. My latest delivery left us with even more challenges than usual. They were not huge, they were not insurmountable. But as I laid on the operating table after delivering my son, waiting for the doctor to finish surgery, I silently prayed for breastfeeding to work out once again. I asked God to provide strength where I had none. And once again, He did.

That morning, my husband and I arrived at the hospital, excited about our son and ready to be prepped for surgery.  The nurse tried to start an IV in my arm but couldn't get the needle into my vein, so she had to move it into my hand.  Somewhere in there, I passed out for a few seconds and then woke up vomiting.  It was a rough morning and this was only the beginning.

I met with the anesthetist and explained to her about vomiting during the c-section for my second baby, Andrew.  She said she would do anything she could to prevent it from happening again, but it might just be the way my body responds to a drop in blood pressure. Sure enough, after she administered the spinal block, I began vomiting.  I vomited several times before, during, and after the c-section.  It was a miserable experience.  By the time my son was born, I was completely exhausted from all that we'd gone through, and I was also very weak.  I wasn't sure how I would hold my son, much less nurse him. 

That first nursing session with a baby is incredibly important.  It forms a sort of imprint on the baby's mind of how nursing is supposed to happen.  This is also when a baby will be most alert and ready to nurse.  Later, the baby will be very exhausted and sleepy, so this is the best time to establish nursing.  In fact, my first time to nurse my first child did not go well, and it took two weeks and lots of hard work and tears to undo all that had been done that first hour after she was born.  When my second child was born, I wanted to avoid all of those problems, but I felt that as an experienced nursing mom, I was competant enough to address any issues that might arise.  If I couldn't handle something, I was going to demand good help or ask that my mom be permitted to come in and help me get nursing off to a good start.  Fortunately, my second baby was a good eater and I knew just what to do, so we had no issues.  But this time, I felt completely helpless.


I was brought to my room for recovery with a very low body temperature (93) and low blood pressure too, which left me very weak.  Mentally, I felt like my IQ had been cut in half, thanks to the morphine.  I was groggy and exhausted.  Shortly after surgery, a happy, smiley nurse walked into my room, pushing a bassinet with my hour-old son.  I had no idea how I was going to hold this little guy and maneuver him into a good nursing position.  I looked at the nurse, who appeared very pleasant and helpful, and I decided just to lay it all out on the table.

"I need to let you know that I'm loopy right now," I told the nurse.  "I'm drained and exhausted.  I'm committed to breastfeeding, but I just don't know how I'm going to do it.  I need some help." 

The nurse grinned and confidently said "Girl, I've got this."  She walked over with Alexandre and latched him on.  Within seconds, he was eating and happy.  I did nothing to help.  I couldn't.  This nurse did all the breastfeeding work for me.  She was completely amazing.

What I didn't know is that my nurse had been hand-picked by a friend of mine who now lives out of town.  She had called her friend, the happy pleasant nurse, and asked her to take care of me.  And she did!  Isn't God wonderful in how creatively He provides?

The next time I had to feed the baby, my husband took care of positioning the baby, something neither of us knew he could do, but he made it look easy.  After that second time, I had enough energy to handle Alexandre, though I still needed my husband to lift the baby for quite a while.      

Our baby will be one week old tomorrow, and he is thriving and doing well.  In fact, so far he seems to be my easiest baby!  He's such a blessing.

Here are my tips for making breastfeeding work after a c-section.  They really apply to any nursing situation, but they're especially helpful to keep in mind after a c-section.

1. Ask for help:  Ask the nurse, ask to see the lactation consultant, ask your husband, ask your mother.  But ask!
2. Room in if you can, don't if you can't:  I know, I know..."Rooming in" (keeping the baby in your room) is the best way to get breastfeeding established.  But what about the mom who just had her tummy cut open?  You need rest!  So if the baby is keeping you from resting with it's little squawks and noises, then let it go to the nursery.  They'll bring him back when he's hungry, or if it's been too long, you can call and ask for him to come back.  We do a combination of rooming in and nursery care.  I try to feed the baby around midnight and then let the baby go back to the nursery for the night, so that I can get some theoretical sleep, which never seems to happen in a hospital.  Don't feel guilty about putting the baby in the nursery.  It's really OK for you to take care of yourself too.
3. Experiment with Positions:  This is true with any situation, but certainly after a c-section.  Play around with different positions until you figure out what your baby likes.  Alexandre, my third baby, is actually my first baby to nurse in the traditional cradle or cross-cradle positions.  With my first baby, I discovered that the clutch (football) hold was the easiest for me, and it's especially easy on your incision.  With my second baby, I also tried the latest buzzword in breastfeeding, biological nurturing, or "laid back breastfeeding."  It worked really great in the hospital bed, since I could recline back and let the baby eat at his leisure.  He wanted to nurse constantly, so he would eat & sleep on me while I dozed in the bed.  Once we were home, we found that the clutch hold was still the best for us.  My breastfeeding books recommend the side-lying position for c-sections, which makes me wonder if any of the authors have even had a c-section.  I don't know about other moms, but it is still quite painful for me to lay on my side, and my surgery was almost a week ago.  But hey, if that's what works for you, go for it.

Having a c-section doesn't mean you can't nurse your baby, but you may have to work a little harder to make it happen.  Like most things in life, the extra effort is completely worth it to give your little one the best start in life.