The Leash Question

On Saturday, I asked for your opinion on my son's little green backpack, which also came with a tether or "leash" to clip onto the backpack for parents to keep tabs on their little toddler. 

I was a little surprised that I didn't receive any tsk tsks or censures for having the audacity to want to "leash" my child.  It's a pretty taboo thing to do in parenting circles, one that is sure to get comments from folks in the grocery store or disapproving frowns even from friends you know and love. 

Because, as I'm sure you know, everyone knows how to parent your kids better than you do.  Right?  Or at least that's how it seems sometimes, based on all the comments moms receive from well-intentioned strangers..

So what are your thoughts on putting your kid on a harness or "leash?"

Here are the main arguments against it:

• It's a kid, not a dog.
• A parent should teach them to obey you properly, without having to resort to a leash.
• It could hurt them.
• Many parents tend to get "lazy" when their kids are leashed, and they actually pay far less attention than they would otherwise.

I feel like all of these issues could be addressed with proper parenting.  My main concern is

What other people think.

It's true.  This is about all that I'm worried about.  Here's why:

First, I love my dogs.  And I love my kids even more (sorry, dog lovers, but there's just no comparison).  So while they're on a "leash," I will not be treating my child like a puppy.

I also don't think the physical harm idea is a big deal, especially if you use a harness or backpack sort of thing.  But particularly, I have no intention of jerking my little toddler around while he's attached to the tether.  I do, after all, love the little guy.

But here's my main argument in favor of a leash.  I have every intention of teaching my child to obey well.  I don't want to be a lazy parent, and I'm not using a leash to give myself permission to get lazy.

But when my daughter was 18 months old, she had a mom who could devote 100% of her attention solely to training her, holding her hand, and teaching her to stay nearby.

Discipline is still a struggle at times, of course.  If you've passed me in the hallway at church, I'm sure you've heard me saying "don't run at church, Isabelle...stay next to Mommy, Isabelle...watch where you're going, Isabelle."  But I've taught her to walk next to the basket at the grocery store, holding onto it for safety, and she will do the same when we go out somewhere, holding onto the stroller. 

When my son is 18 months, I'll have a 3 1/2 year old to watch as well as a newborn.  I'll still give him a good chunk of my attention, especially in parking lots, since he'll be so young.  But it's not his fault that his mommy can't give her undivided attention to him.  And the bottom line is safety. I just want my toddler to be safe.  That's all.

I have a great double stroller, so I'm sure I'll still use that most of the time.  I also have a feeling that I'll be getting even more use out of my sling and Moby wrap this time.  But it'll be nice to have another option when we go places, just to make sure my toddler is completely safe.

I debated this issue with myself when I was expecting my second child, but I decided against it.  After he was born, we actually had a couple of incidents where I really wished I had the leash!  Those situations were never caused by an inattentive parent or a disobedient toddler.  Instead, the problem always stemmed from someone else, a complete stranger, who might, say, run through a hallway in a municipal building, completely separating my toddler and I when we were holding hands.  Then the woman was kind enough to hold the door open while yelling at someone outside of the building, allowing my 2 year old to go right outside.  Seriously, this happened!  She continued to block my way to my child until I finally physically forced my way through her, outside, where I could grab my daughter and make sure she didn't run into the busy street.  I was fuming mad while the lady apologized, saying "I wouldn't have let her get into the street!"  Between that situation and a few others, I'm thinking a leash may be a good idea.

And I'm starting to reach a point in life and in parenting where what other people think matters less and less.  If someone wants to think I'm a bad mommy for keeping my toddler safe on a harness, then they can think that all they want.  Chances are that something else I do would've offended them anyway.