Reflecting on 2011

I was talking with my checkout lady at the grocery store last night about the New Year.  We both agreed that 2012 will probably be pretty good, because it sure can't get much worse than 2011.  But then I told her about God's faithfulness this year.  It was an incredibly hard year, with health crises for many close members of our family and we nearly lost our son when he was 6 weeks old. 

But our God is a God who saves. 

And heals. 

And carries us when we have no strength. 

In 2011, God has shown me how richly blessed I am to go through such tough trials.  In response to the story of our son's life-saving lung surgery, I often hear people say how blessed they are to have such healthy children.  And then I think of the strength He provided during the two weeks when Damian and I lived at a children's hospital in Dallas.  And the way I completely fell apart in the months after we got home.  And during that time of brokenness, battling with fear and overwhelming emotions, God gave me peace that is completely indescribable. 

He showed me the amazing truth in His word, and I got to live it out on a daily basis, practicing living out my faith.  I had to practice taking my thoughts captive and letting God's truth reign in my heart instead of the fear that wanted to consume me.  If others are blessed to have perfectly healthy children, I think I can say that I am blessed that my son nearly died.   

When I got home from the grocery store last night, my husband had added a Rich Mullins cd to my ipod, so the kids and I listened to it while I did some cleaning.  I just about fell apart when I heard one of my favorite old songs. 

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach

Oh God, you are my God.
And I will ever praise you.
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days   

I picked up my baby boy and held him tightly as I sang these words to the Lord. 

This has been a hard year of climbing steep mountains.  I've had years of walking with God, soaking in His word and developing a right view of Him.  And this year, more than any other, I got to exercise that faith.  The result?  Our marriage is stronger than ever before, my walk with God is deeper, I trust in His word more than ever before, and I think our kids are seeing our faith lived out too. 

Please make no mistake.  This isn't a "Way to go, Gabby" moment.  It's a "Way to go, God" moment.  God has provided everything we needed to get through a difficult year. 

Even in recent weeks, dear friends have had incredibly difficult circumstances that leave me asking why as I hit the floor in prayer for their pain.  Sometimes I look around and all I see is hurting people.  Marriages are falling apart and mommies are left with empty wombs and arms.  One thought I have when I reflect back on this year is "Come, Lord Jesus."  I'm ready for a world in which He completely reigns.  I'm ready for the end of the story, when there are no more tears and every knee will bow to the Lord. 

In the meantime, I will follow Him all of my days, praising Him for the trials.   

I really don't mean to sound so sad today, because really I have so much joy as I reflect back on this tough year.  I haven't made any resolutions yet for 2012, although I'll spend some time tonight setting goals for the year. I'm looking forward to walking with Him and seeing what He has for us. I know there will be tough moments, but those tough times are often some of the sweetest.  I already know that with my children, there will be many times of stretching and growth for me as I learn more about what it is to be a mommy, and I pray that like this year, I will be growing in Christlikeness in 2012.  

What are your resolutions or goals for 2012?  One of mine is memorizing scripture faithfully.  I'd love to hear about your plans for the year.  Happy New Year!!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Izzy!

Happy Birthday to my precious little girl, Isabelle Rose! 

3rd Birthday

2nd Birthday

1st Birthday

Birth Day

Three years ago today, I stayed up all night long at the mere thought that I was your mommy.  Now I still believe that there's no greater privilege in the world than being a mommy to you and your brother.  Happy Birthday, sweet girl! 

Saving my Sanity this Christmas

"I'm not in a high heels stage of life right now," I commented to a friend last night, immediately after complimenting her adorable heels.  I've been there before, and I'm sure I will be again, but right now, cute flats, an occasional pair of boots, and my favorite lime green Pumas will have to do.  I'm in the having babies, nursing babies, and chasing babies stage of life. 

In the middle of trying to raise godly children, comfort, rest, and sanity are some of my priorities.  Similar to selecting shoes, we moms are often forced to make choices between what we'd love to do and what is currently best for ourselves and our families. 

This time of year, choosing between good and best is even more important.  I thought I'd take you through some of the not-so-fun choices that I've had to make lately in order to keep my sanity this Christmas.  But I'll warn you:  Most of my choices involve saying no somewhere, and possibly incurring some form of mommy guilt, friend guilt, or Christian woman guilt.

• Saying no to some Christmas parties.  I really want to make it to everything.  I love being in the middle of everything, getting to know people better, and just hanging out in general.  That's my personality.  But it can't always happen. 
• The risk:  Missing out on connecting with families we'd like to get to know better.
• The win:  Family bonding time, including one evening spent driving around looking at Christmas lights.
• Skipping our annual Photo Christmas Card tradition:  We had a hard time coordinating schedules with our photographer, so we found a family friend to do it.  Then it rained the day we'd planned to do it.  Once that happened, I realized I would have very little time to put everything together and get them mailed out.
• The risk:  Skipping a favorite tradition and not getting to show off our family, which has grown since last year. 
• The win:  Sanity for mommy, and lots of money saved. 
• Opting out of the Christmas Cookie Exchange at Bible study:  This was actually today.  I had a few options.  I could've stayed up super late last night baking cookies, which is probably what I would've done any other year.  But right now, rest and sleep are really important to me, so I didn't even consider this option.  The other choice was to do it yesterday afternoon.  But yesterday, I really needed to get groceries, crafts, and activities for my 2nd grade AWANA class that I teach on Wednesday nights.  Teaching 2nd graders is much more important than a cookie exchange.
• The risk:  Admitting to the ladies at Bible study that I just don't have it together this year and I cannot possibly bake 6 dozen cookies. 
• The win:  Admitting to the ladies that I just don't have it together.  =)  Always be real with other women.  They're not perfect and they don't expect you to be perfect either.  Other wins:  Rest & sanity.
• Choosing pre-baked when needed:  Two years ago, we made a gingerbread house from scratch, which was tons of fun.  Last year, I was 8 weeks away from having a baby, so I was huge and exhausted, so we skipped making a gingerbread house altogether.  This year, I opted for the Walmart special, a box of pre-made, pre-cut gingerbread forms, candy, and icing.  
• The risk:  Letting go of my perfectionism and desire to do things the best way.
• The win:  We get to have keep a fun tradition going without sacrificing time and rest for the mommy. 
• Not completely decorating for Christmas: We've got tons of Christmas stuff strewn everywhere in the house, but I chose to leave a good portion of it in the attic.  No Christmas towels this year, no Christmas coffee mugs, and I didn't decorate the top of the china cabinet.  No snowbabies and I kept my bigger nativity stored away too.  Sigh.  It was hard to leave it all up there, but I did it.
• The risk:  Not having things perfect.
• The win:  Not as much to clean up and not as many pretty things to worry about keeping away from the baby.
• Signing up to bring store-bought items to parties:  I hate doing this.  I love to cook and I love to bake, so baking for a party is lots of fun to me.  And what homemaker doesn't enjoy having a few people ask for her recipe for the yummy toffee bars?  But life is busy, so when I see that something like drinks or dinner rolls need to be brought to a party, I'm the first to sign up for it. 
• The risk:  No one's going to compliment my storebought food.
• The win:  Time with my kids & rest for me. 

Notice a recurring theme here?  While it's important to cook and bake for our family and kids, as well as others, there are seasons of life where it just can't be a priority.  When I'm well-rested and not running around like crazy, my kids and family are happier.  I know that we'll remember the things we do together, the stories we read, and the songs we sing.

What things haven't we skipped out on?  The "important" Christmas parties, homemade Christmas gifts for the ladies at my MOPS table, teaching Isabelle Christmas carols, family advent devotionals, advent calendars, and having matching wrapping paper (k, so I haven't completely won the battle against perfectionism yet!). 

It's a fun time of year, one of my favorites in fact, so I want it to be a favorite time of year for my kids too.  We have lots of conversations about Christmas and what it's really about.  Isabelle's birthday is 4 days before Christmas, so she thinks it's neat that Jesus' birthday is right after hers.  She can't wait to have a birthday cake for Jesus.  For her first Christmas carol, I taught her "Away in a Manger," and it's adorable to hear her sing about "the little Lord Jesus."  While we've skipped the extras, it's really important to us that we focus on Christ at Christmas.

What traditions or extras have you had to skip out on?  Are you able to do all that you want this year?

Andrew and food allergies?

This is what Andrew's face looks like when he eats yogurt.

Even with little hives on his face, he's still pretty stinkin' adorable, isn't he?



I introduced yogurt to him a couple months ago.  The first couple of times, he was fine with it, but the third or fourth time, he vomited it all up.  Not exactly what you want to discover at 2 am!

Our pediatrician advised trying again.  Andrew got this same type of rash the first time he ate bananas and he vomited that up as well.  We tried bananas again recently, and after being hesitant to eat them the first few tries, he eventually ate a lot of it and had no reaction whatsoever.  Yay!

But yogurt?  This is his charming red yogurt face.  Just to eliminate all variables, because I'm nerdy and analytical that way, I tried an experiment.  He broke out like this after eating organic blueberry  baby yogurt (YoBaby).  So a few days later, we tried plain organic Greek yogurt.  The same thing happened!  A few days later, I tried pureed blueberries.  Nothing!  No reaction whatsoever.  So his reaction is definitely a result of something in the yogurt, not the blueberries.
The little rash on his face goes away within about 30 minutes, and it only appears anywhere the yogurt contacted.  If I'm careful with how I feed him, he ends up with very little rash and the yogurt doesn't seem to bother him in any other way either.  His skin responds this way to a number of things he comes in contact with, including laundry that hasn't been washed in free & clear detergent, but again, it fades in about 30 minutes or less. 

Isabelle's face actually responded similarly when she had cinnamon as a baby and even a crisco-based icing that she ate when she was 12 months old.  Even six months ago, eating hummus with preservatives caused her to get a temporary rash on her face, which is why we always opt for a preservative-free hummus (like Tribe).  Hummus is her favorite food, so this is a big deal at our house. 

So what's the scoop?  Is this an allergy, an intolerance, or simply sensitive skin?  Or is this a question for my pediatrician.  In the meantime, no yogurt for my little guy.

Giving Thanks

So I totally botched my month of Thankfulness!!   I'll happily admit that now so that I can move on with other posts. 

Essentially, throughout the month, I have been so completely thankful for the life of our son.  There's nothing like nearly losing a child to make you appreciate everything about children.  Even being woken up at 2 in the morning (and 4, and 6) when he's teething. 

I'm thankful for our incredible family who supported us during the toughest trial that we've experienced so far. 

And I'm thankful for a body of believers who loves us enough to care for us, meet our needs, and pray for us.  Our friends here are amazing.

Above all, I'm so thankful for salvation.  I cannot wait to introduce my children to the God who Saves, the God who is alive and real. 

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  I'm still not ready to switch gears and prepare for Christmas!  Life is hectic but sweet.