Potty Training, Phase Two

When I posted last week about our week of potty training, I forgot to tell you about the one really challenging area.  Isabelle would not go #2.  I can't believe I'm blogging on this...

Evidently it's a pretty common phenomenon.  They'll wait a day or so until they can't wait anymore, and then it happens.  From what I read, toddlers primarily do this out of fear.  This can go on for months and months.  After dealing with the grossness about three times, I was done. 

Yesterday, we went grocery shopping, and while we were at the store, I resorted to bribery, something I didn't want to do, but it seems all rules go out the window when it comes to potty training.  Steering her in an appropriate direction, I instructed Izzy to pick out a toy, which we then purchased.  When we got home, I put it on the top shelf of the bathroom, and whenever she wanted it, I told her she could have it when she went #2 in the potty.  We also talked about it quite a bit...how it's normal, how everyone does it, etc. 

This morning, I gave Izzy a high fiber peanut butter granola bar for breakfast.  An hour later, I could tell she was starting to go, so I plopped her on the potty, and we finally had success!

She was so excited about her toy and she played with it all morning!  I love good quality toys and can't stand junk, so we bought her a Little People Lil' Movers Airplane. 

The passengers on the airplane are clearly headed for Hawaii, so we named the passengers Chris and Chloe, after our friends' children who are stationed in Hawaii with the Airforce.  I also put Mommy on the plane.  Mommy is from Isabelle's Little People Happy Sounds Home.  We put Mommy on the plane because, as I explained to Izzy, "Mommy needs a vacation."

Literary Monday: I'm a Big Sister

Joanna Cole's book, I'm a Big Sister, is yet another book that takes turns as one of Isabelle's favorites.  It was given to us after Andrew was born, along with a small, pink rubber bracelet that says "Big Sister."  Isabelle loves the bracelet so much that she will even sleep with it sometimes.  Both the book and bracelet were very clever gifts for Isabelle, and I think it would make an excellent gift for other families when their family increases in size.

When I was pregnant, my dear friend, Leslie, recommended that if we read any books to Isabelle about a new baby, that we not pick a book that presented the baby as a challenge that she would have to get used to.  Instead, it's better to have a completely fun and positive attitude about a new baby because toddlers will pick up on our attitudes.  If we expect our little ones to have trouble adjusting, they probably will.  I'm a Big Sister has a great outlook on a growing family.   

Joanna Cole's book speaks to preschoolers on their level about the joys of having a new baby at home, through the eyes of a little girl.  She talks about some of the things that babies enjoy as well as some of their negatives, such as the crying.  She writes "Sometimes the baby cries.  Daddy says 'Babies cry to tell us something.  Let's see what's the matter.'"  This perspective is great, because young kids can get pretty annoyed at a crying baby, but if they understand the why, it's much easier to deal with. 

Isabelle used to get pretty upset when Andrew would cry, and she would squeal "Baby crying, baby crying!" until he stopped.  Now, when Andrew gets fussy, I tell her that we need to try to make Andrew happy, so instead, she will tell me "Mommy, Andrew happy! Andrew happy!"  Crying really bothers kids, so I'm glad Joanna Cole addresses the baby's need to communicate. 

The author wisely mentions that big sister can only pick up the baby if she asks first.  That's so great, because little ones will try to pick up baby brother or sister.  Isabelle has nearly tried a number of times, and while there's no way her 25 pound frame can pick up his 16 pounds, I don't want to see what happens if she starts to pick up part of him and then drops him! 

The book discusses all the the things that babies can't do yet, and highlights the great things that the big sister can do.  It also talks about the big sister being a baby once too.  The reader clearly gets the idea that while babies are special, big kids are special too.  In fact, the little girl is now even more special than she used to be because she's a big sister now. 

I love the positive feel of this book as well as the sweet illustrations.  I also enjoy that Daddy is involved in loving on both kids and caring for them.  Many books want to be careful to appeal to all types of families, so they leave Daddy out, just in case mom is single.  But this book has both parents, and the illustrations show each parent caring for the children as well as being affectionate towards each other. 

The only annoyance in this book is that the baby takes bottles, and I inwardly cringe a bit at that part of the story.  When Damian reads it, he often points out to Isabelle that our little baby does not take bottles.  I'm sure you can tell by many of my posts that we're very pro-breastfeeding, so it's important to us that our children view nursing as the normal and proper way to feed a baby.  But I have to acknowledge that the majority of babies do take a bottle at some point, even if it's a bottle of mom's milk, so this is an area that I think it's fine to compromise on, especially when it's in a children's book.  And since Isabelle loves nursing her baby dolls, I don't think I need to worry too much about that area anyway! 

Is your little one about to be a big brother?  Not to worry.  Joanna Cole also has I'm a Big Brother, as well as a couple of potty books.  And of course, she's really famous as the author of the Magic School Bus books!

Adventures in Potty Training

We've started the great potty training adventure this week, and it's been quite a ride.  I've been dreading this challenge for quite some time, putting it aside until I felt that I had time & energy to tackle it.  But finally, life has slowed down enough for me to feel I can handle it.  I am no longer the mentally and emotionally drained person I was for the first few months after Andrew's surgery, so I felt up for the challenge.

I'm writing this post to tell you what we've done this week to teach potty training, not to tell you how to do it.  Every kid is different, and from what I've heard, everything I've learned with potty training Isabelle might go out the window when it comes time to potty train Andrew. 

The Plan

First, I picked a time where life is relatively slow.  During the summer, we have some weekly commitments, but many of those can be skipped if necessary.  We have no more out of town trips planned for a while either.  The fall is just too crazy, and winter even more so.  Even though Isabelle did not exhibit some of the classic signs of potty training readiness, I decided to plow ahead.

I purchased Dora stickers a couple of weeks ago to use as motivation.  Isabelle found them last week and wanted them desperately, but I told her that those were special potty stickers.  If she wanted to sit on the potty, she could get a sticker now, but otherwise, they were off limits until the big day. 

Isabelle is a nut for M&Ms, which she calls "emmy lellows," from a year ago, when I was trying to use M&Ms to teach colors (which didn't work, by the way).  Since I know she loves them, they make great rewards for when she potties.  She gets a sticker for sitting on the potty, an M&M for actually pottying, and another M&M for staying dry.

I know what you're thinking.  The lady who refuses to let her kid drink apple juice is bribing her toddler with M&Ms?  Yep.  Anything in the name of potty training.  And actually, I feel that not giving my toddler juice gives me the freedom to permit her to have a sugary snack from time to time. 

Starting Out

I pulled out a big stack of panties and a stack of cotton shorts, which I put in the bathroom.  I knew accidents were coming!  On Monday morning, I changed Isabelle's diaper and put her special Minnie Mouse panties on, which she picked out at the store a few weeks ago.  I gave her the usual milk and breakfast, and then let her snack and drink water all morning long while watching various potty videos. 

We made it a fun day.  Lots of videos & snacks.  The salty snacks made her drink a lot, which gave us plenty of opportunities to practice using the potty.  And usually, she might watch one video all day, so watching videos all morning was a rare treat.

Isabelle has a sweet, sunny disposition, but she has every bit of her mama's stubbornness.  Couple that with the typical independent streak that pervades toddlerhood, and you can about imagine the challenge I faced.  If we were going to potty train, I knew it had to be initiated by her.  This is why we watched fun potty videos, specifically, Bear in the Big Blue House, which I checked out from the library and I Gotta Go!, which I borrowed from my neighbor.

Every half hour, I asked Isabelle if she wanted to potty and gave her a sticker for sitting on the potty.  She had accidents all morning long and we went through about four or five pairs of panties and shorts, but fortunately the cotton shorts kept her from getting the rug or furniture wet.  And she's a busy girl who doesn't like to sit down to watch videos.  She stands up and plays or sings & dances to the videos. 

Finally, during one of the videos, she actually asked to potty and dragged the potty chair out of the bathroom and into the living room.  She sat and produced nothing. Two minutes later, she sat again, but nothing happened.  Finally, she sat down a third time and I coached her a little bit.  She got the biggest grin when she finally did it!  She continued going to the bathroom for the rest of the day.

Setbacks & Successes

Isabelle has done extremely well all week.  We made it through a shopping trip to Walmart without an accident, and we even participated in a playdate on Wednesday, accident free.  We went to Jumpin' Apes, which has indoor bounce houses, so I was pretty concerned that all of the physical activity would make her forget to hold it if she needed to go, but she did great.

And she even used their public restroom, something I really didn't think would happen because she was terrified to sit on our toilet at home, opting for her small potty chair instead.  I used this folding potty seat to put over their large toilet, and Isabelle was happy to go on it.

Wednesday we experienced a big setback.  She woke up from her afternoon nap in the grouchiest of moods.  She absolutely refused to potty. 

I was torn.  Do I make her sit on the potty and risk giving her a negative association with it?  Or should I just call it a day and stick the girl in diapers, at the risk of giving her the idea that it's OK to wet your pants again?  I opted for the latter option.

Last week, I mentioned to my pediatrician that I planned on potty training Izzy this week, and he said she's at the right age for it.  His primary advice was to keep it fun and have no negatives associated with it at all.  My mother also agreed with keeping it fun and not having punishments for setbacks, so with their expertise guiding me, I let Isabelle stay in diapers for the rest of the day.

On Thursday, she was more than happy to potty again, but now she prefers the real toilet over her potty chair.  Overall, I would say she has done extremely well with it.  She can't hold it for long periods of time, and if I don't take her every hour or every hour and a half, she'll have accidents.  Still, considering that a week ago, she had no idea how to make herself go to the bathroom and she hated sitting on the potty, I'd say we've had success.

Any potty training stories or tips?  I'm wondering how long I'll have to take her this frequently, but at this point, I'm happy to do it.

Literary Mondays: Llama Llama Red Pajama

I love a good children's book, and Llama Llama Red Pajama is one of our favorites. 

Isabelle, our 2 1/2 year old, loves books and any new book she receives is bound to become her favorite at some point in time.  Her Uncle Adam and Aunt Shelly gave her Llama Llama Red Pajama for Christmas and it was a hit immediately.  Isabelle gets very frustrated if I forget to read their written inscription at the beginning of the book!

The story is about a little llama's bedtime routine and the fear that ensues when his mother does not return quickly when he calls for a glass of water.  In his big room, all alone, he panics, and mama llama sprints up the stairs to check on baby llama. 

The illustrations are bright and colorful, and there are only short phrases and sentences on each page, making it a very interesting read for a toddler.


The book was given to us with precision-perfect timing.  Right after Christmas, we were moving Isabelle into her new big girl room.  With a new baby due to arrive within weeks, we had to get her settled into her new room.  She was moving out of the safety of the nursery into a room at the opposite end of the house, with a big double bed instead of her crib.  This may be one reason that Izzy gravitated toward Llama Llama, but the fun rhyming words and the silliness of the little llama could be other reasons as well. 

I love the central message of the book.  After a gentle rebuke to the baby llama about his drama, Mama Llama says "Little Llama, don't you know, Mama Llama loves you so?  Mama Llama's always near, even if she's not right here."

Here's a youtube clip where you can see the entire story read by the author, Anna Dewdney.  It's always nice to read the entire story before buying a book, although I can assure you that your toddler or preschooler will love Llama Llama Red Pajama. 


 

Does your preschooler already love the Llama Llama books?  If so, stop by Kohl's.  Their Kohl's Cares series of books and plush animals has a Llama and book available for $5 each.  Isabelle's Nana picked up a Llama for her, which Izzy is napping with as we speak.

Sorry I didn't post last Monday!  We spent the day in Dallas for Andrew's second follow-up appointment with his surgeon.  All is well.  At 4 months, he continues to be a healthy little guy. 

Imitation

When you've got two little ones in diapers, life is a little crazy.  Those of you with 3+ little ones can roll your eyes or laugh now if you like.  But there are days when things are so hectic and even frustrating that I find myself counting down the minutes until naptime.  Then there are days that are so sweet, I wish I could just press the pause button of life so that I can savor this time.  Yesterday was one of those days.

I was cleaning the nursery when Isabelle walked in.  Her little pink summery dress was pulled up and she was holding her baby doll to her chest.  Isabelle said "Mommy!  Feed baby!  Feed Andrew!"  She was nursing, feeding her baby the same way I feed Andrew. 

We then had to weigh her doll on the baby scale.  Isabelle declared "Eight pounds!"  According to Isabelle, everything weighs eight pounds, including herself. 

After that, the doll sat in Andrew's Bumbo seat.  I needed to put Andrew down for a nap, so Isabelle and I sat, side-by-side, with me in the glider and Izzy in her rocker, putting our babies to sleep.  When I shushed Andrew, she did the same, and when I put Andrew in his crib, Isabelle brought her doll to the doll's bed. 

We spent the rest of the time leading up to naptime sweeping and mopping together, me with my tall yellow broom, and Isabelle with her short red broom.  I love having my little shadow with me.

Literary Monday: Sacred Marriage

Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas, is, by far, my favorite marriage book.  And I've read some marriage books!  Whether it was Love and Respect, The Five Love Languages, Intimate Encounters, His Needs, Her Needs, or a host of other book studies that we've completed with other couples, my husband and I have gleaned much and learned much that strengthened our marriage.  I love these books and recommend them all the time.  However, Sacred Marriage goes where no other marriage book goes, and will completely change your perspective on the purpose of marriage.   

What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

That's the premise of the book, and by that very question, you can see how this book can lead to a complete paradigm shift in your perspective on marriage. 

Holiness should be our goal, and Gary Thomas's book shows a variety of ways that marriage grows us as Christians.  His chapters include discussions of love, respect, sin, prayer, forgiveness, a servant's heart, sexuality, and other areas as well. 

His book is incredibly well-written.  I picked up Sacred Marriage expecting it to be great, but dry.  Instead, I found it to be a page-turner.  He uses examples from other people's marriages, his own marriage, and those of historical figures to prove his points.
 
I love his idea of "Adopting a Holy Double Standard."  Essentially, we're to have compassion for the sins of our spouse and overlook their wrongs toward us.  Yet our attitude towards our own sin should be contempt, and we should be in battle with it.  Thomas discusses struggles in marriage and the way they develop character.  But most people run from struggle, and as he points out, "few people leave a marriage because it's too easy!"  He says "this tendency to avoid difficulty is a grave spiritual failing that can and often does keep us in Christian infancy" (128).

Thomas also says that compromise is a way of saying I love you.  "It's proof that we're willing to give ground for no other reason than that we value the ongoing relationship more than we do asserting our rights, preferences, or wishes" (164).  Such an attitude will require that we die to sin over and over again in the course of marriage.  And if both couples develop such an attitude?  Now that's a beautiful marriage.  Both couples will spend their marriage growing more like Christ and each will feel loved.  If only one of us adopts this perspective, then that is when it gets especially tough, because it's possible that the more mature member of the marriage will always have to give ground and may often feel hurt.  It's also possible that such behavior will change the atittudes of the other spouse.  Regardless, it's our calling as Christians, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can do it.         

Just skimming the pages of Sacred Marriage makes me want to reread the book, because I know that I've become lax in many of those areas, especially as life has become more hectic with motherhood.  It's always easy to focus on my own needs, instead of accepting Paul's admonishment in Philippians to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Phil. 2:3-4).  This is what it means to be Christlike.