That's what little boys are made of.
Right?
They're a handful, or so I hear. One friend of mine commented that her friends with sons and her friends with daughters lead very different lives. She made this observation as we sat together at a restaurant, where my 19 month old daughter quietly "read" her book and ate her salad.
Another friend asked me recently if Isabelle plays like a girl. I had to think for a minute before saying "yes, I think so, although she can be rowdy at times." But then I really observed my little girl in action. She was calmly sitting in the middle of a big pile of toys and three rambunctious boys who varied in age from 1-6 played wildly nearby. She loves her Little People house, where she can make mommy, daddy, and baby have dinner together and then put the baby to bed. Yes, she definitely plays like a girl.
I'm a little nervous about this whole boy thing. Fortunately, I happen to be married to someone who knows the ropes. That's why parenting is a two person job. But it's not that I know nothing of boys. I grew up with four boys in our home, and I'm quite familiar with their rough and tumble ways, as well as their sweetness. But they're a different breed aren't they, and I've never parented one before.
So just what are the differences? If you've got a son, how do you think they differ from girls, from a parenting standpoint? What are the challenges you've faced? Just how early do they manifest their little boyness? If you read my other post from today, you know that I just finished reading Bringing Up Boys. But I'd love to hear your thoughts on the difference in raising boys and girls.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Oh Baby! Book Reviews: Bringing Up Boys
I finished reading Dr. James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys last night, and it was quite a read. My husband bought it for me as a Christmas present, although he made it pretty clear (much to my relief) that he intended on reading it too. I'm so glad he's a father who is engaged with his family and children. This is definitely a two person job!
Before I begin my review, I should probably let you know that if you're not a conservative Christian, you won't like the book and you won't like my review of it either. While you and I may both want smart, healthy, responsible children with good character, we'll differ in other goals of child-rearing. Holiness, for example, is a big goal of my life as a Christian, and I want children who love the Word of God, have a heart for people, and are growing in holiness. You'll see this reflected in Dobson's book and in my review of it.
Book Review
Dr. Dobson wrote that our goal as parents is to "transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity."
How many men do you really know who are like this? I think there's a shortage of godly men who fit this description, particularly in my generation of 20 and 30 somethings. If you're like me and you happen to be married to a man who fits this description, praise God. Thank Him daily for such a blessing. It's a rare thing indeed.
I think his book is incredibly relevant to parenting in today's difficult society, where we laugh at men for being overgrown kids and encourage them to enjoy their toys in their "man cave." While some toys are acceptable in moderation, the truth is that men today are encouraged to be immature, instead of godly leaders of the home. Our culture acts as if pornography is a normal part of life, yet it's tearing marriages apart as men fall into bondage with it. Dobson addresses these issues, as well as other tough ones like homosexuality. At times, I felt saddened as I read the book, because he doesn't mince words. He is real and honest about the world in which we live, and the struggles in raising any child, but especially raising boys.
Dobson also addresses the damage done to men as a result of the feminist movement. We see more and more men characterized as fools, and there's a real question as to how a man should behave. Should he stand up and risk being labeled a chauvanist, or be passive towards women? I think we see plenty of feminized men in our society.
One of my favorite chapters was about educating our boys. Dobson has a number of concerns with the way schools are structured, especially in the early elementary years, when young boys simply aren't ready to spend much of the day confined to desks. I remember teaching elementary school at a small private school a number of years ago. The school actually had multiple recesses, and one day, I saw the teacher next door to me take her students out for yet another recess. I asked her about it, and she said the kids were getting antsy. A quick break from their work would enable them to be even more productive. I loved this idea. I love the flexibility of being able to customize recesses and other activities to your students' needs. Unfortunately, that's just not a reality in most public school classrooms, where teachers are driven by test results. I know, because having taught 9th grade at a local public high school, I've been there. And it's obvious to me as a teacher that boys, who mature later than girls, are at a particular disadvantage. Dr. Dobson surprised me when he said that if he and Shirley had to do it all over again, they would actually homeschool their children.
Dobson stresses the need for good fathers in Bringing Up Boys. It's not that moms aren't needed, but the reality is that mom usually is around, whereas many boys are growing up with no example of what a man should be. And Dobson does address the role a good mother plays in her son's life, and also reminds us that, as parents, we can't be disengaged. We only have our kids within our homes for a relatively short period of time. We must make the most of those years if we want good results.
I'm reminded of Ephesians 5:15-16, which says "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
Before I begin my review, I should probably let you know that if you're not a conservative Christian, you won't like the book and you won't like my review of it either. While you and I may both want smart, healthy, responsible children with good character, we'll differ in other goals of child-rearing. Holiness, for example, is a big goal of my life as a Christian, and I want children who love the Word of God, have a heart for people, and are growing in holiness. You'll see this reflected in Dobson's book and in my review of it.
Book Review
Dr. Dobson wrote that our goal as parents is to "transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity."
How many men do you really know who are like this? I think there's a shortage of godly men who fit this description, particularly in my generation of 20 and 30 somethings. If you're like me and you happen to be married to a man who fits this description, praise God. Thank Him daily for such a blessing. It's a rare thing indeed.
I think his book is incredibly relevant to parenting in today's difficult society, where we laugh at men for being overgrown kids and encourage them to enjoy their toys in their "man cave." While some toys are acceptable in moderation, the truth is that men today are encouraged to be immature, instead of godly leaders of the home. Our culture acts as if pornography is a normal part of life, yet it's tearing marriages apart as men fall into bondage with it. Dobson addresses these issues, as well as other tough ones like homosexuality. At times, I felt saddened as I read the book, because he doesn't mince words. He is real and honest about the world in which we live, and the struggles in raising any child, but especially raising boys.
Dobson also addresses the damage done to men as a result of the feminist movement. We see more and more men characterized as fools, and there's a real question as to how a man should behave. Should he stand up and risk being labeled a chauvanist, or be passive towards women? I think we see plenty of feminized men in our society.
One of my favorite chapters was about educating our boys. Dobson has a number of concerns with the way schools are structured, especially in the early elementary years, when young boys simply aren't ready to spend much of the day confined to desks. I remember teaching elementary school at a small private school a number of years ago. The school actually had multiple recesses, and one day, I saw the teacher next door to me take her students out for yet another recess. I asked her about it, and she said the kids were getting antsy. A quick break from their work would enable them to be even more productive. I loved this idea. I love the flexibility of being able to customize recesses and other activities to your students' needs. Unfortunately, that's just not a reality in most public school classrooms, where teachers are driven by test results. I know, because having taught 9th grade at a local public high school, I've been there. And it's obvious to me as a teacher that boys, who mature later than girls, are at a particular disadvantage. Dr. Dobson surprised me when he said that if he and Shirley had to do it all over again, they would actually homeschool their children.
Dobson stresses the need for good fathers in Bringing Up Boys. It's not that moms aren't needed, but the reality is that mom usually is around, whereas many boys are growing up with no example of what a man should be. And Dobson does address the role a good mother plays in her son's life, and also reminds us that, as parents, we can't be disengaged. We only have our kids within our homes for a relatively short period of time. We must make the most of those years if we want good results.
I'm reminded of Ephesians 5:15-16, which says "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Oh Baby! Book Reviews: A Second Look at Babywise
I mentioned recently that I've been doing quite a bit of reading lately. It's the perfect activity for me, since it's a great chance to relax and mentally prepare for baby. I'm about finished with several of the books, so I'm going to start putting together brief book reviews for you...well, as brief as I can be. I know I'm guilty of being a bit wordy.
On Becoming Babywise: A Second Reading
Babywise was one of the first books I read when I was pregnant with my first child. I've already written a full book review on it, including a lengthy explanation of what it looks like in real life, when applied to the specific needs of the Daigle family. What I'd like to focus on here are my impressions of the book the second time around, after having read many other books targeted to new parents.
During this reading, I was much more aware of my own "weaknesses" as a parent. When Isabelle was born, I discovered how tender-hearted I am towards my babies, and I quickly realized that I simply could not let her "cry it out." Fortunately I didn't have to. She slept so well, right from the beginning. So during this second reading, I was keenly aware that I simply would not be able to apply some of their advice. I just don't have it in me. My ultimate favorite scheduling book is The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg. Her approach is much kinder and gentler, so it's better suited to my personality while still giving me the structure that I desire.
At times, I became frustrated with the authors' generalities. They tend to over generalize in certain areas, specifically with parents who practice attachment parenting. I have to admit, I don't really agree with attachment parenting. It's simply not my style. It is so far removed from my personality, my husband's personality, and our family's needs. However, I do know some folks who practice attachment parenting with success (and many of the things I enjoy doing are quite popular in attachment parenting circles, such nursing after 1 year of age, staying at home with my child, cloth diapering, and making baby food, but I disagree with some of their core beliefs). But just because it's not my style doesn't mean I'm going to completely knock it. The authors actually indicated that attachment parenting will encourage ADHD in a child, which was a statement that I found shocking. I know kids who really have ADHD, yet had plenty of structure and discipline in their homes. There are many reasons behind the epidemic of ADHD diagnoses, and AP probably isn't the culprit.
The authors also come down pretty hard on baby wearing, which is not surprising, since it's such a big part of attachment parenting. I think wearing your baby in a sling or a wrap can be incredibly helpful for a busy mom. I'm so excited to wear Andrew in the new Moby Wrap that a friend made for me, and it has nothing to do with "recreating the womb." But I think when used in a balanced way, while still giving your baby plenty of floor time and independent play time, wearing your baby in a sling can solve a multitude of problems and accommodate both mom and baby.
I didn't wear Isabelle very much, but I distinctly remember sweeping and mopping the kitchen one evening, only to be interrupted at the beginning by my 7 week old baby girl. She had gas, and neither a diaper change nor a nursing session would fix the problem. She just wanted to be held. But I had family coming in town for her baby dedication at church, and being the task-oriented neatnik that I am, I wanted my floors clean. I was torn: comfort my baby or clean my floors? The solution? Both, at the same time. I tried out the sling for the first time that night. She slid into it neatly and was happy being held against her mommy while I swept and mopped the floors. By the way, 2 years into motherhood, if I had to do it again, I'd forget the floors and cuddle with my baby!
One thing that did stand out to me as I read the book is that Babywise really isn't as rigid as some folks think. It has really gotten a bad rap. Just mention it on any online discussion thread, and people will respond as if you're the worst parent in the world for scheduling your child. When I had Isabelle, I was advised by several people not to put my child on a schedule. Their reasoning? It's not fair to let your child cry when he or she is hungry. If your baby is hungry, feed it.
I couldn't agree more. And so does Babywise. The Babywise equation is
On Becoming Babywise: A Second Reading
Babywise was one of the first books I read when I was pregnant with my first child. I've already written a full book review on it, including a lengthy explanation of what it looks like in real life, when applied to the specific needs of the Daigle family. What I'd like to focus on here are my impressions of the book the second time around, after having read many other books targeted to new parents.
During this reading, I was much more aware of my own "weaknesses" as a parent. When Isabelle was born, I discovered how tender-hearted I am towards my babies, and I quickly realized that I simply could not let her "cry it out." Fortunately I didn't have to. She slept so well, right from the beginning. So during this second reading, I was keenly aware that I simply would not be able to apply some of their advice. I just don't have it in me. My ultimate favorite scheduling book is The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg. Her approach is much kinder and gentler, so it's better suited to my personality while still giving me the structure that I desire.
At times, I became frustrated with the authors' generalities. They tend to over generalize in certain areas, specifically with parents who practice attachment parenting. I have to admit, I don't really agree with attachment parenting. It's simply not my style. It is so far removed from my personality, my husband's personality, and our family's needs. However, I do know some folks who practice attachment parenting with success (and many of the things I enjoy doing are quite popular in attachment parenting circles, such nursing after 1 year of age, staying at home with my child, cloth diapering, and making baby food, but I disagree with some of their core beliefs). But just because it's not my style doesn't mean I'm going to completely knock it. The authors actually indicated that attachment parenting will encourage ADHD in a child, which was a statement that I found shocking. I know kids who really have ADHD, yet had plenty of structure and discipline in their homes. There are many reasons behind the epidemic of ADHD diagnoses, and AP probably isn't the culprit.
The authors also come down pretty hard on baby wearing, which is not surprising, since it's such a big part of attachment parenting. I think wearing your baby in a sling or a wrap can be incredibly helpful for a busy mom. I'm so excited to wear Andrew in the new Moby Wrap that a friend made for me, and it has nothing to do with "recreating the womb." But I think when used in a balanced way, while still giving your baby plenty of floor time and independent play time, wearing your baby in a sling can solve a multitude of problems and accommodate both mom and baby.
I didn't wear Isabelle very much, but I distinctly remember sweeping and mopping the kitchen one evening, only to be interrupted at the beginning by my 7 week old baby girl. She had gas, and neither a diaper change nor a nursing session would fix the problem. She just wanted to be held. But I had family coming in town for her baby dedication at church, and being the task-oriented neatnik that I am, I wanted my floors clean. I was torn: comfort my baby or clean my floors? The solution? Both, at the same time. I tried out the sling for the first time that night. She slid into it neatly and was happy being held against her mommy while I swept and mopped the floors. By the way, 2 years into motherhood, if I had to do it again, I'd forget the floors and cuddle with my baby!
One thing that did stand out to me as I read the book is that Babywise really isn't as rigid as some folks think. It has really gotten a bad rap. Just mention it on any online discussion thread, and people will respond as if you're the worst parent in the world for scheduling your child. When I had Isabelle, I was advised by several people not to put my child on a schedule. Their reasoning? It's not fair to let your child cry when he or she is hungry. If your baby is hungry, feed it.
I couldn't agree more. And so does Babywise. The Babywise equation is
Hunger Cue + Clock + Parental Assessment = Feeding Time
What's so dreadful about that? The authors mention several times that hunger is always a good reason to feed your child. Babywise elaborates extensively on this formula, but one point that they make is if your baby is exhibiting a hunger cue but the clock says it's not time for the baby to be fed, feed the child anyway. Most likely, the baby is having a growth spurt and needs to eat. Their method has baby eating every 2-4 hours, which is well within the normal range for any baby.
They also say that crying is a late hunger cue. I definitely found this to be the case. I kept an eye on either the clock or Isabelle. If she was sucking on her fingers, that was my hunger cue. And if it was 11 am, that was another hunger cue. The result? My baby rarely cried (after those first few weeks). She was usually fed before she even realized she was hungry.
Another important thing to keep in mind is that Babywise and breastfeeding can go hand-in-hand. Many breastfeeding advocates find that scheduling does not work well with nursing, but this was not my experience (Keep in mind that my first baby was nursed exclusively until 6 1/2 months of age, and then I continued to nurse until she was 17 months old. Clearly, nursing and Babywise can work!). And as I read through Babywise a second time, I kept an eye out for anything that might be contrary to breastfeeding. I really didn't find much, if anything. I love their advice for the first couple of weeks of nursing: turn the clocks away and don't look at them! Nurse the baby as often and as long as needed. The goal is to establish a good nursing relationship and full feedings.
What are your thoughts on Babywise? Did you love it or hate it? I know wonderful parents who think the book best belongs in the garbage, and other fabulous parents who live by it. I find it all comes down to personality.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Oh Baby! Your Tips for Our Growing Family
In just 11 short days, the Daigle family will grow from a family of three to a family of four. From what I hear, it's a tough transition. Just thinking about keeping up with a toddler and going through the newborn stage of sleepless nights wears me out! I really love the newborn stage (and every stage), and I think the snuggles and sweet cuddling will more than make up for those sleepless nights. But as excited as I am about going from one child to two, I'm going in with my eyes wide open. I know it's going to be tough. Like most things related to having kids, I'll bet it's even tougher than I think it'll be! So I've loved some of the advice that I've received recently, and I'm open to more of your tips and suggestions.
We talked with some friends last week who have two kids. Their daughter is the oldest and she was about the same age as Isabelle when their son was born. Their advice to us? Take it easy. Try to enjoy this time. And from one cloth diapering family to another, they advised not worrying about cloth or anything else that's too time consuming. Instead, focus on each other and enjoying the kids. They also said to make sure daddy gets plenty of time with the newborn. It's easy for dad to be the one occupying the toddler while mom tends to the newborn, but daddy needs to bond too! We loved and appreciated their advice to us.
I talked with my mom on Sunday after my baby shower, and she kept telling me that I really need to spend the next week and a half resting. I'm very task oriented, and when I thought of the 12 days left until the baby is born, I immediately thought of all the little things I can get done. Mom said yes, do some things, but others can wait. Focus on relaxing, napping, and resting as much as I can. I'll need all the energy I can get when the baby comes.
So what's your advice for our growing family? I'd love to read your comments!
We talked with some friends last week who have two kids. Their daughter is the oldest and she was about the same age as Isabelle when their son was born. Their advice to us? Take it easy. Try to enjoy this time. And from one cloth diapering family to another, they advised not worrying about cloth or anything else that's too time consuming. Instead, focus on each other and enjoying the kids. They also said to make sure daddy gets plenty of time with the newborn. It's easy for dad to be the one occupying the toddler while mom tends to the newborn, but daddy needs to bond too! We loved and appreciated their advice to us.
I talked with my mom on Sunday after my baby shower, and she kept telling me that I really need to spend the next week and a half resting. I'm very task oriented, and when I thought of the 12 days left until the baby is born, I immediately thought of all the little things I can get done. Mom said yes, do some things, but others can wait. Focus on relaxing, napping, and resting as much as I can. I'll need all the energy I can get when the baby comes.
Mom and I after the shower at church. We were so overwhelmed by all the gifts and love from everyone. It's such a blessing to bring a child into such an amazing family and church family.
So what's your advice for our growing family? I'd love to read your comments!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Oh Baby! Nursery Photos
Here are the long-awaited photos of the nursery and baby bedding that Damian's aunt and I made.
The pictures are from various nursery rhymes. The toile fabric is a buttery yellow. It's called "Over the Moon" and has great nursery rhyme scenes like these:
Humpty Dumpty
Hey! Diddle, Diddle
Here's another look at the crib. The photos just don't do it justice. I'm really pleased with how beautifully the bumper pads turned out.
Damian's aunt made this sweet pillow using pieces from all the fabrics.
The plaid is also used in the box pleats of the bed skirt. You can see the reverse side of the bumper pads in this shot. The fabric is a plush minky-like sage fabric.
Wall decor. Surely you're not surprised to see something LSU-related in the nursery?
While Damian's aunt did the bulk of the work for the other parts of the bedding, I actually made this blanket all by myself last week!
More wall decor.
The book is an old copy of Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit and Other Stories, which has been Damian's since childhood. The Fitz & Floyd duck was a baby gift when I had Isabelle, and she ate her first solid food from it. Andrew will too. The metal signs say "I will sing to the Lord as long as I live, I will sing praise to my God while I have my being." -Psalm 104:33 and "This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it!" -Psalm 118:24. I love to start the day by singing that psalm to my daughter. She wakes up so happy that it's easy to rejoice and be glad in the morning.
By the way, I take back everything I said about nesting. I'm definitely nesting now. While my floors need to be mopped and laundry needs to be folded, Damian can't keep me out of the nursery. I'm constantly finding something else to do in there. If there's nothing to do, I just sit in the glider and relish the sweetness of the room. And now I can remember doing this when I was pregnant with Isabelle too. I sit in the nursery for as long as 30 minutes at a time and just look at everything, basking in my pregnant state and in the knowledge that soon, very soon, a sweet little boy will be sleeping in that crib. He can come tomorrow if he wants to. I'm ready.
This is the sixth in a series of posts called "Oh Baby!" as I prepare for the arrival of our new little one.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Oh Baby! Pregnancy, Parenting, and Pride
I've been reading so much lately. I'm halfway in the middle of Elisabeth Elliot's The Mark of a Man, James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys, Ezzo and Bucknam's On Becoming Babywise, Jim Trelease's The Read-Aloud Handbook, and the La Leche League's latest edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
As I prepare for becoming a mother of two and going through those early days of exhaustion, troubleshooting nursing, and sweet cuddling with a newborn, I want to make sure I'm ready for every possible complication and scenario. Nursing was so hard for those first two weeks, and to be honest, despite successfully nursing my daughter through her first year and a half of life, I'm quite nervous about dealing with those same problems all over again with my son.
And last time, I was able to get my daughter on a schedule that worked well for her and had her sleeping through the night at 3 weeks of age. What bliss! It's amazing how great you feel when you're getting solid sleep at night instead of an hour or two at a time. My husband advised me about scheduling the baby recently, saying "whatever you do, don't change anything!" Things worked out so beautifully with Isabelle. But what if my next baby doesn't sleep through the night until he's six months old?!? How will I make it then?
So what do I do now? I read, and try to control for as many variables as possible. Any other control freaks out there?
Sometimes I feel like The Little Engine That Could, reading, learning, and trying so hard, saying "I think I can, I think I can...I know I can, I know I can." Except the truth is, I can't.
I can't.
Do anything.
Apart from Christ.
That's what hit me last night as I was reading Babywise. Grace. God's sweet grace. It's God who worked out all of the details last time, not me. He gave me a number of resources, intelligence, wisdom, helpers, and then, through much prayer, He worked out the details to enable nursing to work out and to help my baby sleep through the night.
And this time? He'll either make nursing work out beautifully or He'll give me strength and wisdom to get through it. He'll either enable my baby to sleep well or He'll give me the grace to handle those late nights.
The problem is that I tend to focus on the blessings and not the blessor. God has given us so many things. He provides us with wonderful resources like the internet, the library, and the book store. He has given me friends and family I can turn to for wise, godly counsel. He has blessed me with wisdom and intelligence to do what is best for my children. He provided me with an advanced degree in my early twenties and a solid career to give me confidence. And He has given me a sweet family to enjoy. But frequently, I rely upon these things--the books, the knowledge, advice from others--instead of relying upon Him. Frequently, I rely upon me, and not Him.
Empty me.
Will I keep reading the books? Absolutely. They're a blessing. But I have to be aware that no strategy, no technique, nothing is fail proof. But I serve a God who is, and who provides strength to the weary.
I'm about to enter into one of those times in life where we reach the end of ourselves. That's where His strength is.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV
As I prepare for becoming a mother of two and going through those early days of exhaustion, troubleshooting nursing, and sweet cuddling with a newborn, I want to make sure I'm ready for every possible complication and scenario. Nursing was so hard for those first two weeks, and to be honest, despite successfully nursing my daughter through her first year and a half of life, I'm quite nervous about dealing with those same problems all over again with my son.
And last time, I was able to get my daughter on a schedule that worked well for her and had her sleeping through the night at 3 weeks of age. What bliss! It's amazing how great you feel when you're getting solid sleep at night instead of an hour or two at a time. My husband advised me about scheduling the baby recently, saying "whatever you do, don't change anything!" Things worked out so beautifully with Isabelle. But what if my next baby doesn't sleep through the night until he's six months old?!? How will I make it then?
So what do I do now? I read, and try to control for as many variables as possible. Any other control freaks out there?
Sometimes I feel like The Little Engine That Could, reading, learning, and trying so hard, saying "I think I can, I think I can...I know I can, I know I can." Except the truth is, I can't.
I can't.
Do anything.
Apart from Christ.
That's what hit me last night as I was reading Babywise. Grace. God's sweet grace. It's God who worked out all of the details last time, not me. He gave me a number of resources, intelligence, wisdom, helpers, and then, through much prayer, He worked out the details to enable nursing to work out and to help my baby sleep through the night.
And this time? He'll either make nursing work out beautifully or He'll give me strength and wisdom to get through it. He'll either enable my baby to sleep well or He'll give me the grace to handle those late nights.
The problem is that I tend to focus on the blessings and not the blessor. God has given us so many things. He provides us with wonderful resources like the internet, the library, and the book store. He has given me friends and family I can turn to for wise, godly counsel. He has blessed me with wisdom and intelligence to do what is best for my children. He provided me with an advanced degree in my early twenties and a solid career to give me confidence. And He has given me a sweet family to enjoy. But frequently, I rely upon these things--the books, the knowledge, advice from others--instead of relying upon Him. Frequently, I rely upon me, and not Him.
Empty me.
Will I keep reading the books? Absolutely. They're a blessing. But I have to be aware that no strategy, no technique, nothing is fail proof. But I serve a God who is, and who provides strength to the weary.
I'm about to enter into one of those times in life where we reach the end of ourselves. That's where His strength is.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Oh Baby! My Thoughts on C-Sections
As I explained yesterday, I'm frequently asked about my choice to have a second c-section. C-Section v. VBAC is a very controversial subject right now, and I think the controversy will only continue to grow as universal healthcare awaits us. My husband and I have chosen to have a second c-section, so today I'll share my honest thoughts on the c-section v. VBAC controversy. You can read about the birth of my first child in yesterday's post.
Why I Dislike C-Sections
It interferes with breastfeeding. My breastfeeding woes began because of my c-section. There are several problems that can occur after any medicated birth, but one of the biggest issues is that if a pregnant woman receives IV fluids prior to labor, she will be swollen with fluids and the baby will have a difficult time latching. This is what occured with me. Further compounding the problem, a medicated body does not respond the same way that an unmedicated one will. Baby is often sluggish as well, thanks to the epidural, spinal, or other pain medications. Also, in the case of a c-section, the mother has not gone through the labor process and the usual hormones are not there at the same hightened levels, causing her body not to respond to nursing as it should.
Does all of this mean that a woman cannot nurse if she has a c-section? Absolutely not. I did, and I know many other women who did as well, and many did not have the struggles that Isabelle and I had. But a c-section makes it more difficult, and let's face it: Breastfeeding can be hard enough as it is. Let's try not to add any more difficulties to the list. Because I'm so passionate about breastfeeding, this is one of my primary concerns with having a c-section again.
Our bodies were made for labor. During my first pregnancy, the more I read about the pregnant body and the labor process, the more in awe I became of the way God created the body. Everything moves, shifts, and adapts for the new life to be carried for nine months and then come out. Why surgically remove the baby if you don't have to? You're interrupting the natural process that's supposed to take place. I should add that I do know a few moms who have only been able to have children because of the beauty of modern science and the c-section. And when my dear friend, Leslie, woke up one morning unable to see, she was rushed to the hospital due to preclampsia. I believe her husband would've been left a young widower had it not been for their emergency c-section. For that, I am grateful for the possibility of a surgical birth.
It disturbs some of the sweetest moments of having a baby. Remember my "ideal birth" that I mentioned yesterday? None of this happens with a c-section. No daddy cutting the cord and certainly mommy doesn't get to hold the baby immediately, much less nurse. In fact, as wonderful as our experience was, I remember that initially, Isabelle was given to nurses to handle and weigh, and there were so many people blocking the way that I couldn't see my baby. I was dying to see her sweet little face, moving as much as I could to see around everything, until finally one of the nurses realized that I couldn't see my child, so he moved the curtain a bit so that I could watch everything going on. Then she was wrapped up and brought to me so that I could kiss her sweet face for the first time. It was a beautiful moment, but it would've been much better had it been a normal labor and delivery.
Recovery, Recovery, Recovery. Every new mom has a period of recovery from labor and delivery. From what I hear, it's hard and painful! There's also a period of adjusting to life with a new baby, whether it's her first or her fourth. But let's add recovering from major surgery to that list of adjustments. It may be a very routine surgery nowadays, but it's still a major one. An 8+ inch incision on your abdomen is not fun, especially when you have little ones to take care of. The pain lingers for quite a while, and taking pain killers does not make it easy to care for young children.
As soon as we made the decision to have a second c-section, I called my mother to enlist her help. When I gave her our reasons for the decision, she said she completely agreed with us and would be happy to help out every time we have a baby. I appreciate her help so much, but part of me also wishes that having a baby weren't such a production for me and that I didn't need so much help. I see my friends after their babies are born, and many of them are still glowing as they lay in their hospital beds. They're often quite energetic within days of having their babies. I, on the other hand, hobbled around the house for a good while until the incision was moderately comfortable.
I'm realistic about all of this, and I know that it will take a while before I can handle simple things like laundry, so we're going to put cloth diapers on hold for the first month (or longer). I'll have time to relax and heal, then adjust to the new baby, adjust to life with two babies, and eventually get back to housework & preparing meals for us. Those are my priorities, in order.
I want a large family. The common myth is no more than two c-sections, but that simply isn't true. Fortunately, I've been reassured by both my previous Ob/Gyn and my current one that I can pretty much have as many babies as I want, or at least as many as my uterus can handle. From what I've read, there might come a point when my doctor says my uterus can't handle another pregnancy, but that's not as soon as many people might think. Still, I certainly won't be like couple I know who are pregnant with their eleventh baby. A c-section rules out that option for me (although I'm pretty sure I'm not geared to have that many children anyway!).
Sign me up for another c-section, please!
Given my laundry list of reasons to hate 'em, why am I signing up for another one?
I'll give you the short version, primarily to avoid the risk of offending anyone. I don't think you're a terrible mom if you've chosen to VBAC. You made the choice you felt was best for you, and we're making the one that's best for us.
After having my daughter, I looked into VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and was thrilled about the idea of a normal labor and delivery. Since our reason for a c-section was a breech baby (rather than failure to progress), I would be a prime candidate for a VBAC. We chose our doctor for baby #2 because we go to church with him and trust him, but also because we knew he would do a VBAC.
However, once we became pregnant, we discussed the risks of a VBAC with our doctor. I also did some research myself to find the statistics. Quite frankly, they were frightening. I'll let you look into it on your own if you like, rather than presenting all of the information here. The main risk is a uterine rupture, which can result in quite a bit of harm to the baby, including brain damage. Those consequences to the baby are further increased by the fact that we are in a smaller town. We don't have the option of going with a large teaching hospital, where we can be fairly certain that the baby can be quickly removed in the event of a uterine rupture. The longer it takes to remove the baby, the greater the risks of brain damage. We found a VBAC to be too risky for us and the possible consequences are too severe and too harmful to our baby. Surgery is not without risks either, but at least those risks are primarily to the mother, not the baby. I know wonderful moms who have opted for a VBAC, and I don't fault them a bit for it, especially since I was so determined to have one. But for us, it's simply a risk we do not want to take. Our doctor did not have to do any arm twisting to help us reach this conclusion. By nature, my husband and I are pretty cautious people, and the risks were just too much for us.
The likelihood of a uterine rupture is less than 1%, which sounds really small, unless you consider that it's a baby we're talking about. If your body and baby fall within that 1 in 100, it's a huge statistic. And sometimes I feel like I fulfill statistics. For example, only 3% of babies will remain in the breech position at the end of pregnancy. My baby was one of those! And only about 3% of women continue to have morning sickness throughout pregnancy. Guess who gets to spend all of pregnancy vomiting? You guessed it: me (although currently I've gone 2 weeks without getting sick. Yay!). So I'd rather not play the statistics game. Of course the Lord is ultimately in charge of all of this, but after much prayer and thought on the situation, we don't feel this is a risk He wants us to take.
I hope this post has answered many of your questions about our labor and delivery of choice. I think of this c-section similarly to the miserable iron pills I take on a daily basis. They give me reflux, which isn't fun, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep. But I choose to take them because it's what's best for the baby and for my body. I don't really want a c-section either, but we've chosen it because we feel that, while it may not be best for everyone, it's best for us and for our baby.
This is the fourth post in a series called Oh Baby! I welcome any comments, questions, or thoughts you might have, even if you completely disagree with me on VBACs. Let's just keep it respectful. Thanks! =)
Why I Dislike C-Sections
It interferes with breastfeeding. My breastfeeding woes began because of my c-section. There are several problems that can occur after any medicated birth, but one of the biggest issues is that if a pregnant woman receives IV fluids prior to labor, she will be swollen with fluids and the baby will have a difficult time latching. This is what occured with me. Further compounding the problem, a medicated body does not respond the same way that an unmedicated one will. Baby is often sluggish as well, thanks to the epidural, spinal, or other pain medications. Also, in the case of a c-section, the mother has not gone through the labor process and the usual hormones are not there at the same hightened levels, causing her body not to respond to nursing as it should.
Does all of this mean that a woman cannot nurse if she has a c-section? Absolutely not. I did, and I know many other women who did as well, and many did not have the struggles that Isabelle and I had. But a c-section makes it more difficult, and let's face it: Breastfeeding can be hard enough as it is. Let's try not to add any more difficulties to the list. Because I'm so passionate about breastfeeding, this is one of my primary concerns with having a c-section again.
Our bodies were made for labor. During my first pregnancy, the more I read about the pregnant body and the labor process, the more in awe I became of the way God created the body. Everything moves, shifts, and adapts for the new life to be carried for nine months and then come out. Why surgically remove the baby if you don't have to? You're interrupting the natural process that's supposed to take place. I should add that I do know a few moms who have only been able to have children because of the beauty of modern science and the c-section. And when my dear friend, Leslie, woke up one morning unable to see, she was rushed to the hospital due to preclampsia. I believe her husband would've been left a young widower had it not been for their emergency c-section. For that, I am grateful for the possibility of a surgical birth.
It disturbs some of the sweetest moments of having a baby. Remember my "ideal birth" that I mentioned yesterday? None of this happens with a c-section. No daddy cutting the cord and certainly mommy doesn't get to hold the baby immediately, much less nurse. In fact, as wonderful as our experience was, I remember that initially, Isabelle was given to nurses to handle and weigh, and there were so many people blocking the way that I couldn't see my baby. I was dying to see her sweet little face, moving as much as I could to see around everything, until finally one of the nurses realized that I couldn't see my child, so he moved the curtain a bit so that I could watch everything going on. Then she was wrapped up and brought to me so that I could kiss her sweet face for the first time. It was a beautiful moment, but it would've been much better had it been a normal labor and delivery.
Recovery, Recovery, Recovery. Every new mom has a period of recovery from labor and delivery. From what I hear, it's hard and painful! There's also a period of adjusting to life with a new baby, whether it's her first or her fourth. But let's add recovering from major surgery to that list of adjustments. It may be a very routine surgery nowadays, but it's still a major one. An 8+ inch incision on your abdomen is not fun, especially when you have little ones to take care of. The pain lingers for quite a while, and taking pain killers does not make it easy to care for young children.
As soon as we made the decision to have a second c-section, I called my mother to enlist her help. When I gave her our reasons for the decision, she said she completely agreed with us and would be happy to help out every time we have a baby. I appreciate her help so much, but part of me also wishes that having a baby weren't such a production for me and that I didn't need so much help. I see my friends after their babies are born, and many of them are still glowing as they lay in their hospital beds. They're often quite energetic within days of having their babies. I, on the other hand, hobbled around the house for a good while until the incision was moderately comfortable.
I'm realistic about all of this, and I know that it will take a while before I can handle simple things like laundry, so we're going to put cloth diapers on hold for the first month (or longer). I'll have time to relax and heal, then adjust to the new baby, adjust to life with two babies, and eventually get back to housework & preparing meals for us. Those are my priorities, in order.
I want a large family. The common myth is no more than two c-sections, but that simply isn't true. Fortunately, I've been reassured by both my previous Ob/Gyn and my current one that I can pretty much have as many babies as I want, or at least as many as my uterus can handle. From what I've read, there might come a point when my doctor says my uterus can't handle another pregnancy, but that's not as soon as many people might think. Still, I certainly won't be like couple I know who are pregnant with their eleventh baby. A c-section rules out that option for me (although I'm pretty sure I'm not geared to have that many children anyway!).
Sign me up for another c-section, please!
Given my laundry list of reasons to hate 'em, why am I signing up for another one?
I'll give you the short version, primarily to avoid the risk of offending anyone. I don't think you're a terrible mom if you've chosen to VBAC. You made the choice you felt was best for you, and we're making the one that's best for us.
After having my daughter, I looked into VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and was thrilled about the idea of a normal labor and delivery. Since our reason for a c-section was a breech baby (rather than failure to progress), I would be a prime candidate for a VBAC. We chose our doctor for baby #2 because we go to church with him and trust him, but also because we knew he would do a VBAC.
However, once we became pregnant, we discussed the risks of a VBAC with our doctor. I also did some research myself to find the statistics. Quite frankly, they were frightening. I'll let you look into it on your own if you like, rather than presenting all of the information here. The main risk is a uterine rupture, which can result in quite a bit of harm to the baby, including brain damage. Those consequences to the baby are further increased by the fact that we are in a smaller town. We don't have the option of going with a large teaching hospital, where we can be fairly certain that the baby can be quickly removed in the event of a uterine rupture. The longer it takes to remove the baby, the greater the risks of brain damage. We found a VBAC to be too risky for us and the possible consequences are too severe and too harmful to our baby. Surgery is not without risks either, but at least those risks are primarily to the mother, not the baby. I know wonderful moms who have opted for a VBAC, and I don't fault them a bit for it, especially since I was so determined to have one. But for us, it's simply a risk we do not want to take. Our doctor did not have to do any arm twisting to help us reach this conclusion. By nature, my husband and I are pretty cautious people, and the risks were just too much for us.
The likelihood of a uterine rupture is less than 1%, which sounds really small, unless you consider that it's a baby we're talking about. If your body and baby fall within that 1 in 100, it's a huge statistic. And sometimes I feel like I fulfill statistics. For example, only 3% of babies will remain in the breech position at the end of pregnancy. My baby was one of those! And only about 3% of women continue to have morning sickness throughout pregnancy. Guess who gets to spend all of pregnancy vomiting? You guessed it: me (although currently I've gone 2 weeks without getting sick. Yay!). So I'd rather not play the statistics game. Of course the Lord is ultimately in charge of all of this, but after much prayer and thought on the situation, we don't feel this is a risk He wants us to take.
I hope this post has answered many of your questions about our labor and delivery of choice. I think of this c-section similarly to the miserable iron pills I take on a daily basis. They give me reflux, which isn't fun, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep. But I choose to take them because it's what's best for the baby and for my body. I don't really want a c-section either, but we've chosen it because we feel that, while it may not be best for everyone, it's best for us and for our baby.
This is the fourth post in a series called Oh Baby! I welcome any comments, questions, or thoughts you might have, even if you completely disagree with me on VBACs. Let's just keep it respectful. Thanks! =)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Oh Baby! A Baby Story.
People frequently ask me about having a second c-section. Their questions or comments are usually along the lines of "So do you have to have a c-section because your first was that way?" Some well-informed friends tell me "You know you don't have to do it that way, right?" or they'll politely tell me about a friend who chose not to have a c-section the second time around.
Because I love and value honesty, I don't mind the comments and in fact, I appreciate them. In some ways, it even shows me how well people know me. In a lot of areas, most people know that I tend to go with the more natural option. Yep, I'm the breastfeed for a year and a half, make your own baby food, cloth diapering type. And I'm the type to opt for natural childbirth. But that wasn't an option for me last time, and it's one that my husband and I have thoughtfully and prayerfully eliminated this time. Over the next couple of days, I'll share with you Isabelle's birth story and then I'll tell you about why I hate c-sections and why I'm having another one.
A Baby Story
A week before Christmas of 2008, my husband and I went in to the doctor for my weekly checkup and a sonogram to check the position of our baby girl, who was due in two weeks and three days. At Thursday's checkup, the sonogram revealed what we'd feared. Isabelle was breech. Nowadays, most doctors automatically do c-sections when a baby is breech, so we were quite disappointed to find this out. My doctor, however, presented us with a second option. The other option was something called an external cephalic version, or ECV.
With an ECV, I would be admitted to the hospital and given an epidural. While watching a sonogram, my doctor would attempt to push on my uterus in a certain manner to cause the baby to turn into the correct, head-down position. Should the baby turn, I would immediately be induced into labor, so that we could prevent her from returning to the breech position. Damian and I both agreed that this was a great option, and my doctor said she's actually pretty good at turning babies. In fact, she'd performed a successful ECV for a friend of mine. My doctor and I'd had numerous conversations about my desire for a natural childbirth, which she completely supported, and my dislike of c-sections, which she agreed with as well. So I really appreciated her effort to prevent a surgical birth.
But when my doctor checked me for dilation, I'd already dilated from a 1 to a 3. Instead of waiting a week or so (and giving the baby time to turn on her own), we'd need to do the ECV soon. My doctor's concern was that if I went into labor on my own, we'd no longer have the option of an ECV and induction. If I showed up at the hospital in labor one day, our only option would be a c-section. She said Sunday would work great for her, if that was fine with us. My husband nodded "sure." Astonished, I had to reiterate what she'd just said. "Honey. Sunday. In three days. We're having a baby in three days." We were both shell-shocked as we realized that parenthood was looming so quickly, but we agreed and made the necessary arrangements.
That afternoon, I got home and cried. I called my mom, who joined me in crying too. Why was I so upset? Honestly, this was not what any of us had in mind. We all preferred the good ole "time your contractions and rush to the hospital to have a baby" way of doing things. Some people might like the idea of scheduling their baby's arrival, but I personally did not. And the idea of having surgery to have a baby bothered me immensely.
In my ideal birth, my husband and mom would coach me through the process of giving birth as I labored completely on my own, without an epidural. I would see my daughter being born, my husband would cut the cord, and she would immediately be handed to me to nurse for the first time. I could live with the idea of an epidural or some other pain medication, but the idea of a c-section was incredibly depressing to me.
I began calling other family and close friends to let them know that we were having a baby in three days. When I finished talking to my friend, Melissa, who was completely sympathetic, the Lord brought me to a harsh realization. I was a spoiled brat. Other than several miscarriages, Melissa had no children at the time. Neither did some other friends of mine, friends who'd tried for years. Many women are completely unable to have children. And not only was I about to have my first child, but as far as we could see, she was a perfectly healthy baby. Yet I was crying because my labor and delivery weren't the way I wanted them??? My years of teaching English paid off as I thought of Friar Lawrence's admonishment to Romeo that all of this was "A pack of blessings light upon thy back." (R&J, III, iii). Suddenly, I was done crying. My pity party was over, and I was thrilled. I was having a baby.
On Sunday, we attempted the ECV, with no success. Isabelle was just as stubborn as her mama (as the second twin, I was born feet first--breech). Before the procedure, my doctor had prayed with my husband and I for success and for a healthy baby. I knew it was all in His hands. When the ECV didn't work, I felt no sadness, only joy at the thought of the baby I would soon meet.
The c-section was no fun, but the hospital staff made every attempt they could to let the process seem normal and exciting. My husband was right next to me, holding my hand as the surgery was performed, and we teared up when she was born. Isabelle was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen. I've read in multiple books that one drawback of a c-section is difficulty with bonding between mother and child, but this was not my experience. I was elated at being a mother and completely in love with my child. My eyes couldn't get enough of looking at her. I couldn't sleep at all that night because I was on an emotional high from delivering a baby, even if it was a surgical delivery.
Tomorrow, I'll share with you just what I dislike about c-sections, but then I'll also tell you why I'm having one again this time around. I welcome any comments or questions you might have.
Because I love and value honesty, I don't mind the comments and in fact, I appreciate them. In some ways, it even shows me how well people know me. In a lot of areas, most people know that I tend to go with the more natural option. Yep, I'm the breastfeed for a year and a half, make your own baby food, cloth diapering type. And I'm the type to opt for natural childbirth. But that wasn't an option for me last time, and it's one that my husband and I have thoughtfully and prayerfully eliminated this time. Over the next couple of days, I'll share with you Isabelle's birth story and then I'll tell you about why I hate c-sections and why I'm having another one.
A Baby Story
A week before Christmas of 2008, my husband and I went in to the doctor for my weekly checkup and a sonogram to check the position of our baby girl, who was due in two weeks and three days. At Thursday's checkup, the sonogram revealed what we'd feared. Isabelle was breech. Nowadays, most doctors automatically do c-sections when a baby is breech, so we were quite disappointed to find this out. My doctor, however, presented us with a second option. The other option was something called an external cephalic version, or ECV.
With an ECV, I would be admitted to the hospital and given an epidural. While watching a sonogram, my doctor would attempt to push on my uterus in a certain manner to cause the baby to turn into the correct, head-down position. Should the baby turn, I would immediately be induced into labor, so that we could prevent her from returning to the breech position. Damian and I both agreed that this was a great option, and my doctor said she's actually pretty good at turning babies. In fact, she'd performed a successful ECV for a friend of mine. My doctor and I'd had numerous conversations about my desire for a natural childbirth, which she completely supported, and my dislike of c-sections, which she agreed with as well. So I really appreciated her effort to prevent a surgical birth.
But when my doctor checked me for dilation, I'd already dilated from a 1 to a 3. Instead of waiting a week or so (and giving the baby time to turn on her own), we'd need to do the ECV soon. My doctor's concern was that if I went into labor on my own, we'd no longer have the option of an ECV and induction. If I showed up at the hospital in labor one day, our only option would be a c-section. She said Sunday would work great for her, if that was fine with us. My husband nodded "sure." Astonished, I had to reiterate what she'd just said. "Honey. Sunday. In three days. We're having a baby in three days." We were both shell-shocked as we realized that parenthood was looming so quickly, but we agreed and made the necessary arrangements.
That afternoon, I got home and cried. I called my mom, who joined me in crying too. Why was I so upset? Honestly, this was not what any of us had in mind. We all preferred the good ole "time your contractions and rush to the hospital to have a baby" way of doing things. Some people might like the idea of scheduling their baby's arrival, but I personally did not. And the idea of having surgery to have a baby bothered me immensely.
In my ideal birth, my husband and mom would coach me through the process of giving birth as I labored completely on my own, without an epidural. I would see my daughter being born, my husband would cut the cord, and she would immediately be handed to me to nurse for the first time. I could live with the idea of an epidural or some other pain medication, but the idea of a c-section was incredibly depressing to me.
I began calling other family and close friends to let them know that we were having a baby in three days. When I finished talking to my friend, Melissa, who was completely sympathetic, the Lord brought me to a harsh realization. I was a spoiled brat. Other than several miscarriages, Melissa had no children at the time. Neither did some other friends of mine, friends who'd tried for years. Many women are completely unable to have children. And not only was I about to have my first child, but as far as we could see, she was a perfectly healthy baby. Yet I was crying because my labor and delivery weren't the way I wanted them??? My years of teaching English paid off as I thought of Friar Lawrence's admonishment to Romeo that all of this was "A pack of blessings light upon thy back." (R&J, III, iii). Suddenly, I was done crying. My pity party was over, and I was thrilled. I was having a baby.
On Sunday, we attempted the ECV, with no success. Isabelle was just as stubborn as her mama (as the second twin, I was born feet first--breech). Before the procedure, my doctor had prayed with my husband and I for success and for a healthy baby. I knew it was all in His hands. When the ECV didn't work, I felt no sadness, only joy at the thought of the baby I would soon meet.
The c-section was no fun, but the hospital staff made every attempt they could to let the process seem normal and exciting. My husband was right next to me, holding my hand as the surgery was performed, and we teared up when she was born. Isabelle was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen. I've read in multiple books that one drawback of a c-section is difficulty with bonding between mother and child, but this was not my experience. I was elated at being a mother and completely in love with my child. My eyes couldn't get enough of looking at her. I couldn't sleep at all that night because I was on an emotional high from delivering a baby, even if it was a surgical delivery.
Tomorrow, I'll share with you just what I dislike about c-sections, but then I'll also tell you why I'm having one again this time around. I welcome any comments or questions you might have.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Oh Baby! Nesting Instincts
Everyone experiences pregnancy differently. During my first pregnancy, I never nested. I really didn't think anything of this fact until my mother pointed it out a while back. She said that if I did nest, it was really hard to tell, because I was probably just being my usual self. What she was getting at is that there's little difference between normal, OCD, Type A personality Gabby and a nesting woman.
But did I go through a frenzied time of cleaning everything in sight? No, not at all. I don't know if I skipped nesting because Isabelle was born 2 weeks early or because there wasn't much to clean. I'd already spent my pregnancy vacuuming ceiling fans, wiping down light fixtures, and reorganizing closets (that was last pregnancy, before I had a toddler!).
Lately, I've had more of a desire to clean my house, but to me, it seems that I have more energy and I'm back to my old self again. It doesn't seem extreme and I have yet to get my house to a spotless state. I don't know if nesting is yet to come or if I'll skip it again.
So I'm curious. Did you nest? There's a poll at the left of my blog, and I'd love to see your experiences reflected there or through comments.
This is the second post in a series titled "Oh Baby!"
But did I go through a frenzied time of cleaning everything in sight? No, not at all. I don't know if I skipped nesting because Isabelle was born 2 weeks early or because there wasn't much to clean. I'd already spent my pregnancy vacuuming ceiling fans, wiping down light fixtures, and reorganizing closets (that was last pregnancy, before I had a toddler!).
Lately, I've had more of a desire to clean my house, but to me, it seems that I have more energy and I'm back to my old self again. It doesn't seem extreme and I have yet to get my house to a spotless state. I don't know if nesting is yet to come or if I'll skip it again.
So I'm curious. Did you nest? There's a poll at the left of my blog, and I'd love to see your experiences reflected there or through comments.
This is the second post in a series titled "Oh Baby!"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Oh Baby! The Great To-Do List
If you know me at all, you know I'm the Queen of To-Do Lists. I started this habit at a young age. Scraps of paper, the backsides of envelopes, notepads, post its, you name it, and I can fill it up with a to-do list. People often think I'm a list-maker because I'm just so organized. That, my friends, is hilarious. The truth is, I'm a list-maker because I have no brain half the time, and if I want to remember to do it, it must be written down.
Last week, after we returned from our trip to South Louisiana, I wanted to make a new list for preparing for baby. Remember my "Things to do before baby #2 ? I created that list in August. AUGUST. Before the persistent morning sickness, before fatigue set in, and before the craziness between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some things on the list were accomplished. I even added to the list and made the bedding instead of purchasing it. But many other items on the to-do list were not accomplished. I needed a more realistic list that accurately reflected the limited time and energy that I have.
So without further ado, here's my
5 week countdown:
5 weeks left:Organize Izzy's new room & get Izzy sleeping in new bed.
4 weeks left:Sew piping and blanket for crib bedding
3 weeks left:Sew wet wipes (30ish)
2 weeks left:Wash clothes & set up nursery for Andrew
1 week left: Rest!
In addition to these items, I need to purchase a few things, like a hanging diaper pail (one for each kid's room), prefolds & covers, and a coming home outfit. I don't want to wash Andrew's clothes too far in advance because our church will be having a baby shower a couple of weeks before his arrival. I deliberately kept my list short so that I can still nap when needed, read, have room for our usual weekly activities, and go through nesting mode (if I go through it). And if I end up with time to clean out my closet, wonderful, but if not, it can wait.
I also want to have plenty of time with Isabelle over the next several weeks. I've noticed that when I get really busy, I get more relaxed with discipline. She just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, so this is not the time to slack up in the discipline department. But primarily, I want to get in lots of play time with her. She's pretty attached to her mommy, so it'll be interesting to see how it goes when Andrew arrives. I might be naive, but I don't think she'll have a hard time adjusting to sharing her mom with a new little one. I worry more about not being able to lift her and hold her as much after a c-section.
What do you think? Is it a more realistic list this time? I've had to become much more aware of my limitations lately and relax my perfectionist tendencies. This is not a season of life for a perfect house, as much as I'd like one. But it is a time for loving children, training them, and getting much-needed rest so that I can be capable of raising them well.
Last week, after we returned from our trip to South Louisiana, I wanted to make a new list for preparing for baby. Remember my "Things to do before baby #2 ? I created that list in August. AUGUST. Before the persistent morning sickness, before fatigue set in, and before the craziness between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some things on the list were accomplished. I even added to the list and made the bedding instead of purchasing it. But many other items on the to-do list were not accomplished. I needed a more realistic list that accurately reflected the limited time and energy that I have.
So without further ado, here's my
5 week countdown:
5 weeks left:
4 weeks left:
3 weeks left:
2 weeks left:
1 week left: Rest!
In addition to these items, I need to purchase a few things, like a hanging diaper pail (one for each kid's room), prefolds & covers, and a coming home outfit. I don't want to wash Andrew's clothes too far in advance because our church will be having a baby shower a couple of weeks before his arrival. I deliberately kept my list short so that I can still nap when needed, read, have room for our usual weekly activities, and go through nesting mode (if I go through it). And if I end up with time to clean out my closet, wonderful, but if not, it can wait.
I also want to have plenty of time with Isabelle over the next several weeks. I've noticed that when I get really busy, I get more relaxed with discipline. She just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, so this is not the time to slack up in the discipline department. But primarily, I want to get in lots of play time with her. She's pretty attached to her mommy, so it'll be interesting to see how it goes when Andrew arrives. I might be naive, but I don't think she'll have a hard time adjusting to sharing her mom with a new little one. I worry more about not being able to lift her and hold her as much after a c-section.
What do you think? Is it a more realistic list this time? I've had to become much more aware of my limitations lately and relax my perfectionist tendencies. This is not a season of life for a perfect house, as much as I'd like one. But it is a time for loving children, training them, and getting much-needed rest so that I can be capable of raising them well.
Monday, January 3, 2011
December Family Update
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I hope yours were great! We traveled over Christmas down to Lake Charles, LA, where my mom and stepdad live. We spent a few days there and celebrated Isabelle's second birthday with all of my family.
Both sets of my parents were there, along with all of my six brothers and sisters. Isabelle loved hearing the huge crowd sing "Happy Birthday" to her.
We had a great Christmas with my family, and then on Christmas day, we headed to Gonzales, LA to celebrate with Damian's extended family and spend a couple of days with them.
We enjoyed the chance to catch up, and then we had to drive back home. Damian's parents drove in from St. Louis and they spent several days at our house, celebrating Christmas and helping us get ready for the baby.
Baby Preparations
Damian has been working on refinishing a dresser for Isabelle's room, so he and his dad finished that up. Over the weekend, Damian and I were able to get Isabelle's new room set up for her and we moved her into her new double bed on Saturday night. She did well, other than slipping through the bed rail and falling onto the floor sometime during the night! Damian found her asleep on the floor at 4:30 am! We bought one new rail and will buy another as soon as Wal-Mart gets another rail in. Last night, she slept great and didn't fall out of bed. I had a hard time watching her reach this milestone, however. Sometimes I think it would be nice to keep her my baby forever.
Pregnancy
I'm feeling much better. Fatigue isn't nearly as bad as it was a month ago. I'm having much more energy and I'm motivated to get things done. I think I'm approaching the nesting phase! I still get sick--that part of pregnancy has never changed, other than a few weeks of reprieve back in October. But I only lose a meal about once a week, so it's very manageable. I've been reading books on parenting boys as well as re-reading the latest edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Clearly, a new baby is about all I'm thinking about right now.
New Series
As I have time over the next few weeks, I'm going to blog a new series called Oh Baby! I'll share our baby preparations with you, my thoughts on some of what I'm reading, and I'll seek advice from you as well. Those of you who have been there before can laugh with or at me as I navigate going from one baby to two. I'll also try to answer some of your questions. I'm frequently asked why in the world I'm having another c-section, so I'll give you the scoop at some point over the course of this series. Of course, as always, blogging will come behind the household chores, caring for my toddler, and getting much-needed rest as I prepare for a few weeks of sleepless nights.
I hope yours were great! We traveled over Christmas down to Lake Charles, LA, where my mom and stepdad live. We spent a few days there and celebrated Isabelle's second birthday with all of my family.
We had a great Christmas with my family, and then on Christmas day, we headed to Gonzales, LA to celebrate with Damian's extended family and spend a couple of days with them.
We enjoyed the chance to catch up, and then we had to drive back home. Damian's parents drove in from St. Louis and they spent several days at our house, celebrating Christmas and helping us get ready for the baby.
Baby Preparations
Damian has been working on refinishing a dresser for Isabelle's room, so he and his dad finished that up. Over the weekend, Damian and I were able to get Isabelle's new room set up for her and we moved her into her new double bed on Saturday night. She did well, other than slipping through the bed rail and falling onto the floor sometime during the night! Damian found her asleep on the floor at 4:30 am! We bought one new rail and will buy another as soon as Wal-Mart gets another rail in. Last night, she slept great and didn't fall out of bed. I had a hard time watching her reach this milestone, however. Sometimes I think it would be nice to keep her my baby forever.
Pregnancy
I'm feeling much better. Fatigue isn't nearly as bad as it was a month ago. I'm having much more energy and I'm motivated to get things done. I think I'm approaching the nesting phase! I still get sick--that part of pregnancy has never changed, other than a few weeks of reprieve back in October. But I only lose a meal about once a week, so it's very manageable. I've been reading books on parenting boys as well as re-reading the latest edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Clearly, a new baby is about all I'm thinking about right now.
New Series
As I have time over the next few weeks, I'm going to blog a new series called Oh Baby! I'll share our baby preparations with you, my thoughts on some of what I'm reading, and I'll seek advice from you as well. Those of you who have been there before can laugh with or at me as I navigate going from one baby to two. I'll also try to answer some of your questions. I'm frequently asked why in the world I'm having another c-section, so I'll give you the scoop at some point over the course of this series. Of course, as always, blogging will come behind the household chores, caring for my toddler, and getting much-needed rest as I prepare for a few weeks of sleepless nights.
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